hurrah!

i've been feeling better the past few days. =) still queasy, still nauseous, but at least i don't feel like i'm DYING anymore! and no more coughing! hallelujah! i can finally sleep through the night!

it's been hard to focus on anything pleasant when i was feeling awful, so i just kept myself busy. i'm thankful to the Lord for sending orders my way. i sure felt better when i didn't have to think about how i was feeling.

this is a crazy trimester. my hormones have completely taken over my mind. i've been crying over really silly stuff, like seeing an old man cook paella on discovery travel and living; an ad about an olympic swimmer saving sharks; a girl buying pastries from a convent. my cravings are for really weird things as well, food i normally wouldn't eat like paksiw na isda, and ginger candy. why can't i crave pasta? or ice cream? or chocolate cake? you know, normal food! =)

oh, i forgot, i love sandwiches now. (that's normal at least.) been making a lot of them as they help with the queasiness. and i get to have lots of calcium because i put a lot of cheese in them. =) i esp like them grilled, like the one in the picture. got the recipe from nigella (where else?), she spikes her mayo with worcestershire sauce! it's so yummy!

time to move on

i'm sure y'all have better things to do than read my food diary entries. so i won't post them anymore. it's become difficult to keep track of what i actually eat anyway, because most of the time i just spew it back out. i'm afraid to eat now. i never know what will trigger another round of barfing. sometimes starch helps, sometimes it doesn't. sometimes fruits help, sometimes they don't. i just know that i'm always really really hungry but the moment i try to eat something it comes back out again.

sigh.

i can't wait for the next trimester to start. please. please. i can't stand this anymore.

wishing

i wish the queasiness would go away....
i wish my cough would get better (it's been 4 weeks)
i wish i wasn't this gassy and bloated
i wish i had lots of montaño spanish sardines on stock
i wish i wasn't gaining weight so fast

spanish sardines!!!!!!!!!!

i love spanish sardines! i saw an opened bottle in the fridge and suddenly salivated. and i used to hate sardines. well, not entirely. i love spanish sardines with crackers, but not with anything else. it was the best breakfast ever. too bad i have no more montaño bottles left. =( waaaaaaah!
i want more!!!!!!!


breakfast: 5 pcs spanish sardines with 1 cup sinangag (fried rice with lots of garlic)
green tea with splenda and 1/4 c nonfat milk

no lunch, it was a heavy breakfast for me.

2pm snack: 1 slice of cheese, 1 cup unsweetened soy milk

5pm snack: 3 cups green mango, with about 1 tsp of bagoong just for the happiness it gives. hehehehe

dinner: 2 cups monggo soup with lots of malunggay and lean ground pork (manuel cooked it for me); 1/2 c pork adobo
green tea

it's a carbohydrate day

i was planning to go out today. i needed to buy some stuff from the grocery. i took a bath, dressed up, and went to bed instead. =)

here's my food journal entry:

breakfast: 1 cup old fashioned rolled oatmeal with 1 tbsp wheat germ and dried cranberries and pistachios.
green tea with 1/4 c nonfat milk and splenda

lunch: 3 tbsp cooked penne, with 1/2 c fresh mushrooms, 1 tbsp chopped ham, sautéed in olive oil, sprinkled with parmesan cheese and juice of 1/4 a lemon
dessert: 4 pcs cheese sandwich crackers. yum! took away my queasiness.

mid-afternoon snack: 1 cup blueberries, 1/2 c gouda cheese cubes, 1/2 c raw walnuts

dinner: 1/2 c rice, 1 cup beef stew (low fat beef chunks, carrots, yellow capsicum, mushrooms, lima beans, olives, capers in tomato sauce) --- i picked the ingredients for the most nutrients i can get.

i notice that carbohydrates seem to make me feel a little better. hmmmm.

no exercise for me today. i cleaned the house instead.

take a hike

well, that's what i just did. i brisk-walked for 30 minutes after dinner. the breeze was cool, the park was quiet, and i felt much better. =)

perhaps tonight i can sleep uninterrupted.

day 2

not so good.

i felt worse today. low energy levels and major queasiness. little bit of stomach cramps.
i kept eating.

breakfast: 2-egg omelet with fresh mushrooms and cheddar
green tea with 1/4 c nonfat milk

mid morning snack: 3 tbsp rice with 2 slices luncheon meat (i ate vito's leftovers)

lunch: 1 square tofu, fried, with peanuts, in honey garlic sauce (very little)
1 c high calcium unsweetened soy milk

mid afternoon snack: 1/2 kiwi fruit
1 sandwich (high fibre bread with 1 tsp mayo, 5 pcs lettuce leaves, luncheon meat)
green tea with 1/4 c nonfat milk

dinner: 1 zinger (manuel remembered how i craved zinger when i was pregnant with vito so he ordered some. so sweet of him.)
1 cup cole slaw with very little mayo

i feel so full i want to barf. i'm not used to eating a whole sandwich anymore.
i'll do better tomorrow.

food diary day 1

(well, day 1 after i found out anyway)

breakfast:
2-egg omelet with broccoli, fresh mushrooms, basil, and cheddar cheese. cooked in butter substitute made with olive oil.
green tea with 1/4 c soy milk, splenda

mid-day snack: frozen nonfat strawberry yoghurt with kiwi bits

mid-afternoon snack: 1/2 really big green mango
1/2 c bite-sized crackers

dinner: chicken and mango salad with honey mustard dressing

after-dinner: 1 cup unsweetened soy milk


*no lunch, i wasn't hungry

baby, let's move

it's important to stay fit when you're pregnant, so i'm keeping my walking regimen. i walk at least 30 minutes a day, now that vito is still on school break. when school starts in two weeks i'll be back to my one hour a day dose of brisk walking.

can i still do wii boxing? hmm, i'm not sure yet. i haven't had the energy to do it anyway as i'm always feeling lazy. maybe i can try it 3x a week.

should i follow this?

i got this from pregnancy period.com

When you’re pregnant, everything you do either contributes to you and your baby’s health or is a missed opportunity to have done something positive for both of you. You can make a big difference in your health and in your baby's health, just by choosing the right foods for a healthy pregnancy diet.

Your healthy pregnancy diet should include up to four servings of dairy products each day. Dairy is an important source of calcium and Vitamin D. You can choose from milk or yogurt – even cheese can count as a dairy serving as well. If you’re lactose intolerant or are an active vegan, soy options exist that can replace dairy products.

Every day, you should have one to two servings of lean protein, which includes foods like chicken, beef, pork, lamb, fish and seafood. Do be aware, however, that some forms of seafood – particularly fish that may contain mercury and sushi – aren’t safe during pregnancy. If you’re a vegetarian, you can choose beans and cheese to fulfill your dietary requirements. However, if you’re choosing cheese as a protein source, it can’t also count as a dairy serving – one serving of food can only fulfill one requirement, not two. Aim for a total daily protein intake of around 80 grams, counting the protein in all the foods you consume.

One or two servings of fresh green leafy vegetables should also be included every day. Vegetables like lettuce, cabbage, spinach, kale, mustard greens, turnip greens and collard greens all fit into this category.

You should also include five servings of whole grains each day. Whole grain products not only provide a number of vitamins and minerals, they’re also a good source of fiber. Pregnant women have a tendency to be constipated, and whole grains can be a big help with this. Whole wheat bread is a good choice – just make sure the first ingredient on the label reads “100% whole wheat,” and not “enriched wheat,” which isn’t actually a whole grain. Whole grain cereals like oatmeal are also a good choice, as is granola, as long as it doesn’t include trans fats.

Each day, you should include at least one serving of fruit that’s rich in Vitamin C in your diet. This could be an orange or grapefruit, or a serving of tomato. This can be in juice form, although the whole fruit is preferable, as you’ll get more fiber and nutrients this way.

You should also try to include two eggs in your diet every day. Eggs are an excellent source of protein and contain many vitamins and minerals that benefit your body, including a healthy form of cholesterol that will help your baby's brain develop.

Healthy fats are another important dietary element during pregnancy. Nut oils, olive oil, or avocados are good choices. Avoid trans fats and aim for three servings of healthy fat each day.

Five times each week, add a yellow or orange colored fruit or vegetable to your diet. This includes carrots, squash and yellow bell peppers. These foods are a good source of beta carotene, from which the body manufacturers vitamin A.

Finally, try to include a whole baked potato in your diet three times a week. Baked potatoes are a good source of easily digestible iron, a nutrient that women need more of throughout their pregnancies.

In addition to these guidelines, you should also remain hydrated, drinking plenty of water and other liquids as needed. Unless your doctor has specifically instructed you to do so, salt your foot to taste. This helps your blood volume increase in a safe way.

what now?

i never expected i'd be pregnant. i was in denial for the last couple of weeks, telling myself that my period was just delayed because i've been under a lot of stress lately. i still don't know how to react. a part of me is really excited (and wishing it's a baby girl), but i'm also largely apprehensive about the whole thing. i'm turning 38 this year! it'll be a high-risk pregnancy for sure. and what about all the weight i lost? i don't know whether to laugh or cry. =)

but i hereby resolve to watch my weight so that i don't balloon to 95kg again. i will still eat carefully, picking only the healthiest food, and i will take my vitamins and supplements (which i have yet to buy). and if the doctor allows me, i will continue my workout.

uhm

i haven't been feeling like myself lately. just the thought of exercise leaves me exhausted. i have no desire to go out of the house. the effort of dressing up is too much to even consider.

maybe i'm just hormonal. i don't know.

we went to a pool party yesterday and i spent more time reading in a corner. maybe it's just one of those phases.



p.s. the photo isn't mine, i grabbed this somewhere i don't even remember. my apologies to the photographer.

whenever i need more motivation ---

here's the secret way i've been motivating myself every now and then - i buy a new pair of jeans that are a little too small for me. every week, i try it on until i reach the right size. =D

my latest acquisition is a pair of denim low-waist capris. when i bought the pair, i couldn't lift it past my thighs, let alone past my hips. now, thanks in part to my fitflops i suppose, i can now close the zipper and the buttons. and yes, i can wear them without suffering some blood vessel constriction or something. hahahahaha.

i'm loving how my bum looks from the side now, it's much higher, tighter, and there's less sagging at the bottom. i just need to work on the cellulite in my thighs a bit more and i'm ready for that mini-skirt! =)

tell me this isn't happening

so i've been exercising, and eating healthy, in fact i went back to phase one for a couple of days.
so why did i just gain 5kg in 4 days?????

in what parallel universe does that even make any sense?!

and i'm sure it's not just my weighing scale because i do feel heavier! and my waistbands are a bit tighter today! is this just pms? because that's a serious case of bloating if there ever was one!

this is so not fair!

weight loss = happiness?

so i've been thinking a lot about this lately. will i really be happier when i achieve my goal weight?

it's easy to say i'll be happy when (i lose x amount of weight, get a new job, have a million dollars, get a new haircut, etc); but we all know happiness doesn't reside in superficial things.

the fact that i am already happy about my current state says a lot, i suppose. and it also confuses me. so i'm not trying to lose weight to be happy. i'm trying to lose weight so i'll look good in nice clothes (primarily), and not feel like an elephant lumbering among gazelles when i walk around this country of thin people.

do i like my current size? actually i do. i can already fit into local brands, i can wear some stuff i've never been able to wear before, and i feel lighter, and so much healthier. am i still overweight? you bet i am. 30 lbs over my ideal weight, in fact. so yes, i still need to exert more effort. much as i love to pretend that i can now eat ice cream and cake, i know that i can't, and i musn't.

i still have a long way to go. i hope i still have the willpower.