christmas is just a couple of days away, and soon december will come to a close. have i achieved my weight loss goal? not quite. i'm still 10 lbs away.
i know i can loose those 10 lbs with just one week on phase one, but i'm not going to do it. it's enough to know that i can. i would rather enjoy the fesitivites. there are so many reasons to be sad this christmas, so i'll focus on the ones that make me happy -- having my little family together, celebrating the birth of our Savior, and enjoying great food.
i will continue on my journey towards a healthier, fabulous me. i resolve not to overeat, no matter how tempting (fruitcake with brandy creme sauce, panettone french toast, baked ham, tiramisu, chocolate florentines, and everything else i'm preparing for noche buena). i'm just moving my target date, that's all. and i will aim to loose not just the 10 lbs i promised myself for december, but 20 more pounds so i can really go back to my 2003 weight. but i will do it slowly, steadily, safely. i will give my skin time to adjust so i won't end up looking like those extreme makeover candidates with rolls of skin on their bellies and arms. (no way!)
so the journey is not over yet.
close but no cigar
Monday, December 22, 2008
Posted by Patricia at 2:45 PM 4 comments
Labels: health, slimming, south beach diet, weight loss
almost there
Monday, December 8, 2008
Posted by Patricia at 11:54 AM 12 comments
Labels: health, slimming, south beach diet, weight loss updates
salads
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
if someone had told me last year that i'd soon be craving for salads, i would have laughed so hard. i used to hate salads! given a choice between pizza or a salad, i'd have chosen the pizza any time. no hesitation.
now? now i crave salad every day! i've come to love the crunch of the vegetables, the freshness of the flavors, and how clean the feeling is inside my tummy. i love how i never feel bloated afterwards, and i love the mix of textures and tastes. every few days i try a new combination, and so far they've all been great.
the one in the picture is my chicken fajita salad. instead of wrapping them in tortillas, i shredded the roasted chicken, mixed it with the roasted veggies, added cherry tomatoes and romaine lettuce, and mixed them all with a special dressing (sour cream, parmesan cheese, garlic, cayenne pepper, lemon juice, olive oil). it's so good!
Posted by Patricia at 12:38 PM 4 comments
Labels: food, slimming, south beach diet, weight loss
dirty little secret
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
i think i'm becoming bulimic
Posted by Patricia at 3:35 PM 8 comments
Labels: neuroses, slimming, weight loss
surviving the holidays
Sunday, November 30, 2008
the holidays are upon us, and for people on a diet, that can be bad news indeed. but here are some things i learned (after surviving thanksgiving):
- you don't have to completely deprive yourself of all holiday food. you'll just feel bad.
- but it doesn't mean you can stuff your face with all the rich calorie-laden food you can get your hands on either. it's ok to get a slice of pecan pie, but it is not ok to eat the whole pie.
- get a small portion of everything you want to eat. but don't go back for seconds.
- eat some salad before you eat anything else. that way you'll feel slightly full before you face the lasagne, baked stuffing, ham, fondue, cakes, etc.
- stay away from alcohol, it only adds unnecessary calories, and it won't fill you up. it'll also make your metabolism sluggish.
- if you can, stick with water. avoid juice and any drink high in sugar.
- if you're preparing the food, try to cook healthier versions of your favorite holiday food. you can use artificial sweeteners instead of sugar, use butter substitutes and healthier oils, substitute wholemeal bread for white bread, wholewheat pasta instead of semolina. sadly, there is no healthy version of gravy.
Posted by Patricia at 11:33 AM 9 comments
Labels: holiday eating, slimming, weight loss
another size smaller
Sunday, November 23, 2008
i went down another dress size this week.
this is how i check - every saturday, when we go out, i go to stores and try on different dresses. i may or may not buy them, but i try them on, checking to see if i can fit into a smaller size. it's fun! i love trying out clothes, and i sometimes take pictures of outfits i love. these are the ones i'll buy when i reach my goal weight. (i'm still holding out for that day.)
i don't trust the scale much anymore. it goes up and down at different times of the day. i've started measuring my waist and hips instead. as long as the numbers keep going down, i'm happy.
the top i'm wearing in this picture is an old one. i've had it since manuel and i were dating. although it wasn't this "filled out" when i last wore it, i'm still happy that i can wear it once more. =D
Posted by Patricia at 12:03 AM 11 comments
Labels: health, slimming, weight loss updates
too little time
Saturday, November 22, 2008
december is almost here! and i'm still 20 lbs short of my goal! waaaaaaaaaah!
Posted by Patricia at 11:22 PM 3 comments
Labels: slimming, weight loss
yes!
Friday, November 21, 2008
i lost 2 more kilos! plateau over!
went back to phase 1 for a few days, and increased my walking pace.
Posted by Patricia at 10:31 AM 0 comments
Labels: slimming, south beach diet, weight loss
plateau
Monday, November 17, 2008
i've hit one.
a plateau i mean.
no matter how hard i've been working out, how much i'm controlling my eating, i'm not losing weight anymore!!!!
i haven't gained any either, but that's not really much of a consolation. i don't know what else to do!
Posted by Patricia at 1:49 PM 5 comments
Labels: slimming, weight loss woes
all pain no gain
Thursday, November 13, 2008
two weeks with very little exercise took its toll on my body. not that i haven't been active, i just haven't been doing my regular exercise program. painting the house and taking care of an injured child should count as physical activity right?
anyway, i've been so prone to injury lately. first i twisted my knee while i was going down the ladder (when i painted the living room). it still twitches when i try to go up and down the stairs. i hope the cartilege isn't torn. my knee was bent when i twisted it. then i don't know what happened but just the two days ago my left hip started twitching too! i couldn't even put my left foot down without shouting from the pain.
i swear this is getting creepy. i feel like an old woman with arthritis and gout!
anyway, i went back to my walking regime this week and did some pilates too. the pain in my left hip disappeared, and the pain on my lateral meniscus has lessened. i still can't bend it very well. but pilates seems to help.
Posted by Patricia at 9:53 PM 6 comments
dropping shopping
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
it's so hard to control this addiction to clothes. it should be easier than going on a diet, right? no sooner do i get some cash when the first thing i think of is going on a shopping spree. i don't need new clothes. not yet anyway. i'm saving up all the shopping privileges until i reach my goal weight. but it doesn't mean i'm going to turn my back on tops that cost only $6. *big grin*
(at least i found something i have in common with audrey hepburn!)
Posted by Patricia at 10:15 PM 5 comments
Labels: fabulousness, fashion, shopping
the happy list
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
it hasn't been all bad lately. i've had happy thoughts and joyful heartstrings too. here are some of them:
- hip belts that already fit around my hips and not my waist.
- i got the jeans and trousers that i had altered and they were done perfectly. no more complaints on having nothing to wear! =)
- being told that i look younger by 3 different people.
- discovering a new author that i love. =) i'm devouring all of kelley armstrong's books.
- making my home look exactly the way i always wanted it.
- finding the perfect shade of camel paint. the exact shade of a burberry cashmere coat i found on neiman marcus online.
- watching chocolat with manuel while vito was asleep and sipping van houten hot chocolate spiced with pepper.
- finishing another painting
- getting orders for the book thongs i made!
- getting an early christmas gift from manuel - a crimson patent leather liz claiborne tote that almost matches the wallet T gave me =)
- christmas shopping!
- not gaining weight despite the chocolates and brownies i ate last week. =D
Posted by Patricia at 1:45 PM 8 comments
Labels: happy, heartstrings, slimming
not so good
Sunday, November 9, 2008
it's been a very stressful week for me. vito's many attempts at wall art, his asthma, his vomiting, and now his bloody accident all combined to make this week very challenging. hosting a get together last friday when i had no help didn't make things easier either. and neither did having to paint the living room all by myself. i'm physically and emotionally tired.
i wish i could escape for a few hours and have coffee with any one of my friends. there are some people i miss the most in times like these. i miss marilu, who will always get me out of self-pity and give me renewed energy for what i need to do and will probably even volunteer for it. i miss mimi, who will never fail to make me laugh and who knows how to relate to my moods. i miss chelo, who brings sunshine wherever she goes and knows how to lift anyone's spirits. and i miss my sister, who knows what i think before i even say it.
so i console myself with food. yes, food. i haven't been gorging or overeating. but i have been stealing some of vito's brownies and biscuits. i wasn't prepared for this week, i didn't buy snacks for myself. so whenever i get really tired, i just open the fridge and dig into whatever i find. chocolates and brownies are within easy reach and give me temporary joy. hey, sometimes a girl's just gotta have some chocolates to deal with a bad day.
dressing for destiny
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
i love this quote by coco chanel!
a lot of people i know think i'm weird for always going out dressed to the nines no matter where i'm going. i wear nice clothes even when i'm just walking vito to and from school. the thing is, i don't see a reason why i shouldn't dress up.
why shouldn't i make the effort to look fab? what if i meet someone who could be a potential client, employer or business contact? what if i see a former classmate? or a former student? or even (horrors!) an ex boyfriend?
growing up, my sister and i had a standard reply whenever mommy would rebuke us for always worrying about how we looked. "but what will my public say?" -- one of us would burst out. (ok so delusions of grandeur run in our family, but you already know that.) but dressing up IS important. it shows that you care, that you have respect for the people or person that you're meeting or for the place you're going to. and most importantly, it shows that you have respect for yourself as well.
Posted by Patricia at 12:56 PM 4 comments
Labels: fabulousness, fashion
dang these hormones!
Monday, November 3, 2008
i never had such uncontrollable cravings while on this diet as i did the past week. what's with all these hormones? i'm supposed to be stronger than this!
first i gorge on fried chicken wings for a week. then saturday night i had a square inch of brownie and one palitaw. yesterday i ate danish cookies and two shots of baileys! aaaargh!
i can't wait for my period to be over so i start behaving normally again. i don't want to erase everything i've worked so hard for. i'm already back to my weight when i was in my first trimester. manuel loves the shape i'm in, and i'm getting a lot of compliments as well.
i cannot give up.
i cannot stop now.
must not stop.
Posted by Patricia at 10:27 AM 2 comments
Labels: aaargh
the middle part
Thursday, October 30, 2008
i think about all the crappy and hard things I have been through, and I wonder what good can come of these experiences. on a higher spiritual level, i know that everything we experience, good and bad is supposed to be learning lessons that bring us to a higher level of growth and advancement. at the time though, it is really hard to see the gain because you are so focused on the pain. but now that i have lived a good three decades heading into my fourth, i know that everything i have gone through has brought me to a better place.
i've read tons and TONS of self help books, which should come as no surprise, and the one thing i notice that is common with most of these books is that when "patients" talk about their experiences, they talk about how they were in the beginning of their healing (ie. I'm addicted to alcohol and bon bons, and then what their life is like after the healing ie "wow, dr. (insert famous author name) program really helped me. I am now sober, and a healthy weight.") the thing that almost none of the books talk about is all the pain in the middle of the healing. i hope to share some of the middle parts of my healing here.
those of you who have been through some major healing like surviving a major disease, the loss of a loved one, etc know that the hard part is actually the middle part. the part where you cry, get angry, rip off the bandages, and basically hurt. in order to heal the wounds and get to well being, you have to go through and feel the pain.
it's not easy beating any addiction, be it alcohol, sex, smoking, shopping, or food. there will be more downs than ups. i hope that by sharing my experiences in this blog, i can inspire other people to break their bad habits too. because if i can do it, so can you.
Posted by Patricia at 12:51 PM 4 comments
Labels: health, self control, slimming
fourth time's the charm?
i've been struggling with weight all my life (well, at least since puberty hit). it's been up. it's been down. it's been all around.
when i was in grade 5, i weighed 125 lbs. i was only an inch or two shorter than my adult height because puberty came early for me. my dad's youngest sister put me on a diet when we visited cebu for the summer. i lost 30 lbs in two months and came back to school looking like most of my classmates -- slim and tall! woohoo! all of a sudden i was popular with the boys.
in high school i was still relatively slim, but i started gaining weight again, and by the time i was in first year college, i weighed 135 lbs on my 5'3" frame. (gosh, if i weighed like that now, i'd be wearing skinny jeans!) and i felt fat. i underwent reconstructive surgery on my jaw and was fed thru a naso-gastric tube for two months. they regulated my caloric intake so that i was only taking 900 calories a day. the weight i lost! none of my classmates recognized me when i went back to school! my waistline was back to 25! (i have a big frame, the last time my waisline was 24 or under was in grade school!)
i gained weight slowly but steadily through the years, and by the time i was 25, i had reached 150 lbs. 5 years later i was 50 lbs heavier. i overheard someone say, "have you seen pat? she looks like a barrel!" my life went really crazy at that point and i underwent a major makeover of everything i could possibly make over, including my body. i hit the gym every day for 3 hours, worked out like i was training for the olympics, and finally tried out the atkins diet. in 8 months i was back to 130 lbs and i felt finally in control.
this is the fourth time i'm doing this, and i hope i never have to do it again. i know yo-yo dieting is actually more dangerous than staying moderately fat because it taxes the heart. so i do hope fourth time's the charm. i intend to stick to this no matter what. and you have permission to boing me on the head if i allow myself to get fat again.
Posted by Patricia at 12:33 PM 0 comments
Labels: health, slimming, weight gain, weight loss
no way!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
i gained back 2 kilos in one week! aaaaaargh!
mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa!!!!
been pigging out on deep-fried chicken wings for the last few days. i hate it when i'm pmsing and i can't control my cravings! but darn, those chicken wings (from old chang kee) really tasted good!
i think i'll go back to phase one for a week.
Posted by Patricia at 10:02 AM 10 comments
Labels: slimming, south beach diet, weight loss woes
living large in a small country
Sunday, October 26, 2008
one of the reasons why i'm so pressured to lose weight is that most singaporeans are thin. (maybe it's because they walk a lot. hehe) this is a nation of health-conscious people, where overweight kids are restricted from eating during recess and instead are made to run around the campus grounds. they are subjected to regular assessments by the national health board to monitor their weight.
i tell ya, those with obese children should just move to singapore.
it's not easy being fat in a country like this. not only do you look ginormous compared to everyone else, you also can't find clothes to wear!
local sizes are like this: xs =0, s=2, m=4-6, l=8, xl=10. seriously!!!
can you imagine what clothes shopping can do to your self-esteem? after a few years, i've learned to stay clear of local brands and stick to the "friendlier" brands --- marks & spencer, monsoon, moonstone, dorothy perkins. unfortunately, they're not very trendy. which is ok really, as it's easy to mix and match classic pieces.
someday, i'll be able to wear the trendier brands. someday i won't stick out like a gargantuan elephant walking among thin reeds. =)
Posted by Patricia at 10:22 PM 2 comments
Labels: health, shopping, slimming, weight loss
Lord, help me
i'm craving for crunchy deep-fried chicken wings!!!!
i think i'm pmsing! waaaaaah!
Posted by Patricia at 10:21 PM 0 comments
Labels: challenges
nothing to wear
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
i've reached that point now. none of my trousers and jeans will stay on anymore. they're all like 5-6 inches too big for me. that's way beyond the point where you can just tighten them with a belt. believe me, i tried, and the waistband bunches up and there are so many folds all around that they just look lousy.
when i started on this diet, a size 16 (US) was too tight for me. now i'm a size 12 (US).
it's a good thing i kept some of my skirts from when manuel and i were dating. they're the only ones i can wear now! sadly, not all of my blouses go well with skirts. and i'm still halfway toward my goal weight, so i can't buy new pants just yet.
any suggestions?
Posted by Patricia at 8:55 PM 8 comments
Labels: health, slimming, weight loss
pilates
Sunday, October 19, 2008
i love pilates!
next to walking, this is my favorite form of exercise. i love the controlled movements and how it increases flexibility as it also creates muscular strength and tone without increasing the size of the muscle. (i certainly don't want bigger muscles! everything else on my body is already big!)
i alternate between two pilates videos - winsor pilates and pilates after pregnancy. the former is more demanding, so i do it on days when i'm not able to walk. the other one focuses more on the tummy area, so i like that too. neither is easy, some of the exercise are very challenging (i'm getting better at the full teaser now, but rolling like a ball i still painful to my lower back.)
if i can only get my little boy to stop trying to "help" me when i'm exercising, i can probably enjoy this more. =)
in control
i know how to control my cravings now. this week has been full of celebrations, what with my birthday and my hubby's just a few days apart. i didn't deprive myself of the usual favorites, and yet i didn't gain any weight. the secret? i just took a few bites of all that i wanted to eat. (except for the cheesecake, which i did finish. )
this is a major step for me because previously i was never able to stop at a few bites. i always had to finish a plateful of whatever it was i was eating. now i just take a few nibbles, and stop.
it feels really great to finally be in control of my cravings.
Posted by Patricia at 12:15 AM 2 comments
Labels: cravings, slimming, south beach diet, weight loss
was it worth it?
Thursday, October 16, 2008
you bet!
did i feel guilty after eating that cheesecake? of course!
did i do something about it?
yes i did.
would i do it again?
only on rare occasions. =) the guilt is still eating me up.
Posted by Patricia at 5:44 PM 2 comments
Labels: health, slimming, south beach diet, the eating habits of highly neurotic people
no-fail
i love food courts in singapore. they're clean, spacious, and you're spoilt for choice. sometimes the sheer number of food choices leaves me paralyzed. now that i'm on this diet and more than half of the food offered is forbidden to me, i have formed some favorites so i don't get overwhelmed anymore.
yong tau fu -- it sounds exotic, doesn't it? this is a no-fail order. you choose the vegetables, tofu, meat, and other things you want to include in it (crabmeat, mushrooms, chicken, fishballs....), then you hand over your bowl to the attendants to be cooked the way you prefer -clear soup, with noodles, with curry, with laksa. the clear soup is glorious! it's full of flavor (but no msg). and they never overcook the veggies. plus, they have like 10 different varieties of tofu you can choose from.
i never get tired of this dish because actually you can have a different combination each time you order it. so it's always new. and always satisfying.
and so not fattening.
whoever invented this dish must have had a psychic link to dr. agatston.
Posted by Patricia at 5:30 PM 4 comments
Labels: food, health, slimming, the eating habits of highly neurotic people, yong tau fu
birthday wish
Monday, October 13, 2008
my 37th birthday is tomorrow. i don't have any special plans. it's just another birthday. there'll be no introspecting here, no reflections on the past year or anything like that. i'm just happy that my waistline is not the same as my age anymore. =P
if i had one wish for my birthday, i'll wish that i can eat a multi-layer white chocolate cake with vanilla custard and chocolate ganache filling.
and not get fat.
can i at least eat one slice? *grin*
Posted by Patricia at 4:05 PM 7 comments
Labels: birthday
2 more kilos
i lost 2 more kilograms in two weeks. =)
to celebrate, my dear hubby took me shopping last saturday and bought me 3 new tops. 2 from promod, one from mango. (it might have been an early birthday gift too, i suppose.)
have i ever talked about promod? it's a lovely french clothing line with fab designer-inspired ready- to-wear lines. i've always liked their designs but never fit into any of them. well now i do. i had fun trying out different outfits. some of them were way beyond my budget but it felt good to know that they fit. lol.
=D
Posted by Patricia at 12:23 PM 4 comments
Labels: health, slimming, weight loss
what should i do?
here's another challenge - what do i do when i get invited to a party at someone's house?
i've been to a couple of gatherings where the host prepares a lot of food and none of them are on my acceptable foods list. you know the usual fare - pasta, rice, sweets, breaded everything.
i don't want to insult the host by not eating, and i'm not sure if it's even good etiquette to bring my own food to a party.
yesterday my sister-in-law and her husband came by and brought lunch. they told us not to prepare anything. i made a salad nonetheless, which was a really good thing because she brought, --- you guessed it --- pasta, rice, shrimps cooked in a sweet sauce, (very little) crackling pork belly, and tiramisu. i mean seriously, what was i supposed to eat? if not for the cobb salad i made, i would have been breaking my diet again.
anyway, i've received a few invitations for the coming weeks, and i expect the food choices will be no different. some of them know i'm on a diet, but fail to understand that i cannot eat starch and sugar EVER. (my SIL even asked me yesterday if pasta and rice were still off my list. hmmm. how to explain? how to explain? )
so should i just decline the invites? or show up and bring my own food?
Posted by Patricia at 12:12 PM 4 comments
Labels: health, slimming, socials, south beach diet
yes i did
Thursday, October 9, 2008
i ate one of the corn muffins i baked today. i just had to taste it because it was the first time i made some and i wanted to see if it really tasted like the ones from kenny rogers roasters.
but i didn't have to finish a whole muffin, i know. i could have just taken a bite, but i didn't. i ate a whole muffin, and i really enjoyed the taste.
so i punished myself afterwards. i did the firm maximum cardio workout with step aerobics and weights. i pushed myself hard and made sure i burned it all off. for dinner i had a tuna salad with lots of greens. i promise to do pilates before i sleep. or do some other kind of fat burning exercise.
aaaargh! there are just days when i can't help it.
Posted by Patricia at 7:05 PM 4 comments
Labels: confessions, slimming, weight loss
on waist management
dr. oz says that your waist circumference should be half of your height (or less).
if that's the case, then i need to lose 4 more inches.
hmmm. give me another month. =D
Posted by Patricia at 3:46 PM 0 comments
Labels: health, slimming, south beach diet, waistline, weight loss
just thoughts
Monday, October 6, 2008
please forgive the self-congratulatory tone on my recent posts.
it's just that i've been working so hard for this and i can't help but be happy with my progress.
there are days when i feel like quitting. it's too hard! i miss eating pasta! and crepes! and all-butter cranberry cookies from marks and spencer! it's particularly difficult when my little boy eats all of those and i have to feed him. last night he ate a chocolate danish, and he asked me to pour condensed milk on top of it. but when he found out how sticky it was, he didn't want to touch it, so he asked me to feed him. that was torture! the danish was in my hands and i could smell all its buttery and chocolatey yumminess. i wanted to cry.
goodness knows where i get my self control. whatever it is that i'm doing, it's going against my nature. if i didn't have all of you to be accountable to, i'd have given up a long time ago.
Posted by Patricia at 2:43 PM 12 comments
Labels: discipline, self control, slimming, south beach diet, sweets, weight loss
before and after
Saturday, October 4, 2008
here's what 20 lbs less looks like on me.
the picture on the left was
taken toward the end of july. i was so obese!
the one on the right was taken today. i'm still fat, and i still have a lot of weight to lose. but i know i'm looking better. and i know i'm going to get back the figure i used to have pre-pregnancy.
(oh, and that's the top i bought at mango to reward myself for the 20 lbs. =) it's in large. not xl. not xxxl. not that mango carries xxxl. or that i used to be able to shop at mango at all. lol. )
Posted by Patricia at 9:27 PM 11 comments
Labels: health, slimming, weight loss updates
bags don't make you feel fat
Friday, October 3, 2008
how else can you explain why women would gladly spend thousands on a bag?
and there are so many fabulous choices out there. i'm loving the new crocodile collection of nancy gonzalez! but what i'm really lusting after is ferragamo's shiny gancio luchetto satchel. *drooling*
i know i can never have any of these, but i still love looking at them, and trying to picture just how NOT FAT i will feel when i use one. unlike say, a pair of skinny jeans.
maybe that's why i own more bags than jeans. lol
=)
Posted by Patricia at 4:59 PM 2 comments
Labels: accessories, fashion
adventures in eating out
when you're on any diet, eating out can be a challenge. but it's particularly tricky if you're on the south beach diet (or any low-carb diet) AND you live in singapore. noodles and rice abound! all our favorite local dishes have carbs in them. think nasi lemak, mee goreng, fried hokkien prawn mee, mah chang, or even "carrot" cake. sometimes i wonder why the people here are so slim when all the local dishes are full of starch, sugar, and oil. maybe they only eat once a day? :P
however, i'm still glad to discover that a lot of family restaurants and diners do have low carb choices. even the restaurant at ikea! kenny rogers roasters is also a surprise -- they don't smother the chicken in gravy! in fact, there's no gravy at all! (trust them to pander to the health conscious singaporeans.) pepper lunch is also great, i just give the rice to the hubby, and eat the meat and veggies.
i still wish there was a restaurant here that serves south beach diet meals, like tinderbox in cebu does. but then again, i do enjoy the adventure of the hunt.
=)
Posted by Patricia at 1:39 PM 2 comments
Labels: dining out, health, slimming, south beach diet, weight loss
fabulous
Thursday, October 2, 2008
i changed the site theme to reflect the mood i'm in.
and i'm feeling fabulous!
almost halfway through the goal i set for myself, and i'm seeing really obvious differences in the way i look, and the way my clothes fit. my friends here have all noticed how much i slimmed down, and their comments are very encouraging.
at our last gathering, i wore a t-shirt and a denim skirt (pre-pregnancy but with a lot of stretch). everyone told me how much younger and slimmer i looked! naturally i basked in the praise! (i mean, what else is there to do? *wink*)
i'm already fantasizing about all the clothes i'm going to buy in december!
=)
Posted by Patricia at 11:05 PM 4 comments
Labels: feelings, joy, slimming, weight loss
20 lbs lost, 30 more to go
i feel so great today, even if it's the first day of my period. i just crossed the 20 lb mark!
all my efforts seem to be paying off. even when i was pms-ing, and had all these cravings, i never once cheated, even if i salivated over the peaches & cream icebox cake that i made for a gathering of friends. it took every ounce of my willpower (plus everyone else's in the building) to stop me from even tasting what i made. i'm so proud of myself!
today i celebrated by buying myself a shirt from mango. in large. =)
will post a picture of myself wearing it.
Posted by Patricia at 11:00 PM 0 comments
Labels: health, slimming, south beach diet, weight loss
discipline and how to get it
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
here's something i learned ---
just decide you're going to do something, and do it.
don't think about it, don't get bogged down in the emotions of it.
just shut everything else out and do it.
no excuses.
Posted by Patricia at 11:09 AM 2 comments
Labels: discipline, health, slimming, weight loss
16 lbs lost, 34 lbs to go
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
sometimes it seems to me that my goal is so hard to achieve.
i have to remind myself all the time to focus on short term goals instead of the seemingly insurmountable end goal that i have set for myself. will i ever lose 50 lbs by december? the days are flying too fast. i can't imagine september is almost over.
two months.
34 lbs.
i wonder if i can make it.
Posted by Patricia at 3:44 PM 3 comments
Labels: goal, health, slimming, south beach diet, weight loss
the evils of pizza
Monday, September 22, 2008
my sister in law and her husband moved into a new flat last saturday. naturally we helped them set it up. it was fun arranging furniture and setting up a new home. my little boy was happily playing with all the packaging materials, and basically creating more mess than we would have ordinarily dealt with.
we were tired, but happy. and extremely hungry when supper time came. unfortunately, i didn't anticipate that we would be ordering in.
they ordered pizza.
there was nothing else to eat, and so i guiltily wolfed down two slices.
boy would i regret it later!
when we got home two hours later, my tummy was having major cramps. i haven't been eating starch for a month now and my digestive system isn't used to it anymore. the pains stayed with me all night and didn't stop until noon of the next day.
i will never ever eat bad carbs ever again!
Posted by Patricia at 9:15 PM 3 comments
Labels: bad carbs, health, pizza, slimming, tummy ache
quick south beach diet shopping list
Thursday, September 18, 2008
- A lot of eggs! (at least two dozen. I ate 3 a day)
- Turkey and Canadian bacon
- Sugar free Jell-O
- Lettuce & whatever else you want in your salads (buy enough for the week)
- Salad dressing (balsamic vinaigrette is good)
- Veggies (no carrots) (broccoli & zucchini are good)
- Chicken breasts and whatever other meat you like (spam doesn't count as meat, not even low-sodium spam)
- Nuts (for snacks)
- Low fat string cheese & shredded cheese (I use it on my salads)
- Part-skim ricotta cheese
- Splenda or other sugar substitute
give them all away so you can start with a clean slate and you won't be tempted to cheat.
the best way to modify your behavior is to change your environment first.
in fact whatever diet you want to follow, be sure that none of the bad foods in the list are inside your home.
Posted by Patricia at 11:37 PM 6 comments
Labels: health, shopping, slimming, south beach diet, weight loss
bloating
i feel so bloated today. i started introducing one good carb a day to my diet - a piece of wholegrain toast. i totally stopped eating fruits because they made me crave sweets.
but with starches, i feel so bloated!
if one piece of toasted wholegrain bread can do that to me, just imagine what my former diet did to my body? all that rice! all those cakes and biscuits! gawd, no wonder!
i totally want to go back to phase 1 again, but they don't recommend it. the south beach diet is supposed to train you for a lifetime of healthy eating. and not having any carbs at all is not healthy.
maybe i just need to add to my exercise regimen.
or maybe i need to take diuretics?
how do you get rid of bloating?
Posted by Patricia at 11:37 PM 5 comments
Labels: bloating, health, slimming, south beach diet
i could snack on these forever
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
green tea flavoured pumpkin seeds! the yummiest healthy snack ever made on this side of the planet! =) high fibre, low carb, high protein, healthy fat. =)
Posted by Patricia at 10:06 AM 2 comments
belting up
i never thought buying a new belt could hold so much significance. all my jeans are loose now, and i needed a belt to keep them in place. isn't it great? =)
it would be so much easier to just buy a new wardrobe, but i promised myself that i'd only do that when i reach my goal weight. so it's just belts for now.
Posted by Patricia at 10:02 AM 0 comments
Labels: belts, health, progress, slimming, weight loss updates
can you go from hating exercise to loving it?
Friday, September 12, 2008
I am one of "those people" who went from hating exercise to loving it -- but I still have PLENTY of days where I have to talk myself into it. My lightbulb moment was when I realized that it wasn't the actual exercise I loved, but how I felt when I was DONE exercising -- healthy, fit, powerful, emotionally & physically strong, confident, happy, beautiful... Amazing thing, those endorphines! I used to have to talk myself into climbing a flight of stairs -- that's how out of shape and disinterested and unenchanted I was... but the more in shape I got, the easier it got, and the greater my enjoyment.
Now that was years ago. I actually wished the gym was open 7 days a week so I could exercise every single day. And I'm talking 3 hours of workout here.
My form of exercise now is walking. I love to walk every where! I'm lucky that Singapore is a very safe place, and the sidewalks are usually lined with shady trees and pretty shrubs; so walking is a very pleasant experience. Unless it rains, or if the tropical climate turns on the heat full blast. But I do love the flush on my face after a good workout! Who needs blush when you have post-workout flush? =)
The moral of the story is, keep with it... you'll find SOMETHING in it, whether it's increased fitness level / health, happiness, or simply the pride of accomplishing something so amazing!
Posted by Patricia at 12:47 PM 4 comments
Labels: exercise, health, slimming, weight loss
ode to the eggplant
Thursday, September 11, 2008
seriously, how can you not love this vegetable? it's full of flavor, full of nutrients, and so easy to cook! these baked eggplant bites are the best snack food i've ever tasted. it's like eating pizza without the crust. and the smell! the smell of it when it's almost cooked -- the aroma wafting from the oven --- mouth-watering!
Posted by Patricia at 9:15 PM 0 comments
one small step for man, one giant leap for my blood sugar
so i started on phase two this week. and i've been reintroducing fruits into my diet. only, silly me, i didn't read that part about WHEN to eat fruits. i thought it was ok to eat it in the morning.
it's not. apparently.
it raises your blood sugar right away and then makes it fall as abruptly. so two hours later you are ravenous. i wasn't prepared for it and i didn't bring any snacks with me as i did my regular walking thing. can you spell hypoglycemia?
aaargh. obviously it's not good to speed read instructional books. =)
Posted by Patricia at 9:07 PM 0 comments
tummy tuck
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
the south beach diet really works wonders on one's belly. i can't believe i can actually look down and not see my tummy anymore. hehehe. and when i lie down, it actually turns flat.
i know, i know, i'm still big, but hey, i used to look 7 months pregnant all the time, so this is a big achievement for me! =)
Posted by Patricia at 9:33 AM 6 comments
Labels: health, slimming, south beach diet, weight loss updates
weights
i'm adding weight training to my exercise regimen this week.
since i'll be adding fruits to my diet, i need to make sure i don't stop losing weight. the best way to increase my metabolism is to do weight training, so i'm taking out my dumbells from their storage.
i still wish i had a gym to go to, with a personal trainer. but who needs that when you have willpower and resolve, right? =)
zara.... zara.... zara.....
Posted by Patricia at 12:11 AM 5 comments
Labels: exercise, slimming, weight loss, weight training
hello fruits!
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
i'm on phase 2! and i'm allowed to eat one serving of fruit a day. hallelujah! finally, i can have something sweet for breakfast.
i had a small slice of ripe papaya this morning. and it was so yummy!
i'm not allowed to gorge on fruits yet, i still have to limit my intake of anything with sugar (fruits have fructose, remember.) but one slice a day is enough of a treat to keep me going. maybe next week i can start adding another serving. if i stop losing weight, then i have to cut back again.
Posted by Patricia at 11:55 PM 0 comments
Labels: south beach diet
why it's working
Friday, September 5, 2008
i know why the south beach diet works for me. it makes me conscious of what i eat, and yet i don't have to count calories, or keep a food journal. all i need to do is make sure i eat what i'm allowed to eat, in the proper amounts. and i don't starve or skip meals or drink meal substitutes that make me feel like i'm drinking a chemistry experiment.
it teaches me how to make proper food choices (high fibre, good unsaturated fats, low-fat dairy, high phytonutrients from fruits and vegetables, lean protein). and unlike most fad diets, this is really something that i feel i can do for the rest of my life.
i think i'm going to be shopping at zara in december. =D
Posted by Patricia at 2:14 PM 1 comments
Labels: health, slimming, south beach diet, weight loss
goodbye 10 lbs
Thursday, September 4, 2008
10 days into the south beach diet and i've already lost 10 lbs. yep. you heard it right. although if you look at me you wouldn't be able to tell. i suppose if you're incredibly overweight, 10 lbs is really negligible. i forgot how to compute for the differential threshold but i have a feeling whatever the formula is, the 10 lbs wouldn't reach the limit.
my clothes are starting to fit better though, particularly around the waist. and i can suck in my stomach now! laugh all you want, but i was never able to do that with any visible results before.
so today, i'm feeling very good about myself. i'm starting to believe that this might actually work. and that goal isn't so impossible after all.
Posted by Patricia at 12:45 PM 3 comments
Labels: health, slimming, south beach diet, weight loss
the missing ingredient
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
if there's anything i miss the most, it's RICE.
i can't believe i have to give it up entirely until i reach my goal weight. and even then, i can only enjoy it on special occasions.
Posted by Patricia at 6:32 PM 2 comments
Labels: weight loss woes
feeling good
Monday, September 1, 2008
after one week on the south beach diet, i'm starting to feel really good. and i mean, lighter, more energetic. i'm not as hungry as on the first two days, and i've slowly gotten rid of my cravings for sweets and starchy food.
yesterday i made pancakes for my boys, and i didn't once stare at them with longing. hahahaha! i must be improving! i had my eggs florentine and i was happy with my breakfast.
i've also been very active, and i've tried to get my whole family to join me. my husband is very supportive. he hates walking anywhere, but for me, he'll walk all the way to the mall just so i can have my exercise. (it's a good 20-minute walk)
yesterday, instead of lazing around the house, we went to the park and rode bikes! that was fun! there's a park right across our apartment complex that sits right on the beach. there are bikes and skates for rent. i got a bike with a toddler seat at the back so vito can ride with me. it was fun! oh of course i had to practice a bit as i hadn't ridden a bike in like 20 years, but after that it was smooth sailing.
ahhh, the wind on my face! the joy of going through avenues of trees and hearing the waves from the sea! i want it to be a regular thing from now on.
Posted by Patricia at 8:45 AM 1 comments
Labels: exercise, south beach diet
newfound resolve
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
so i weighed myself first thing this morning --- and discovered that i lost 3kg in one week.
there's nothing like losing weight fast to rekindle my resolve!
Posted by Patricia at 2:28 PM 4 comments
Labels: health, slimming, south beach diet, weight loss
help!!!!
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
this is getting to be too tough. i want to quit!
it's hard for me because i have to prepare separate meals for myself, and for my family. and i'm always hungry! so i'm always preparing food that don't really satisfy me at all. i know it's the sugar craving that's making this stage really tough. even the 1 kg that i lost doesn't seem to be worth it.
aaaargh! i should be stronger than this!
Posted by Patricia at 9:06 PM 1 comments
Labels: aaargh
what i learned from bob greene
before i started on the south beach diet, i went through other diet plans, and tried them out for a few weeks. dr. perricone's diet was way too expensive, what with all the supplements he recommended. so i just took a few pointers from him (choosing colorful vegetables only, and taking lots of salmon oil) and moved on to others. bob greene's total body makeover was one of the most sensible i've ever encountered.
he recommends 4 cornerstones that you need to have before you start on the program: honesty, responsibility, commitment, and inner strength. this was his deal -- take however long you need to be honest with yourself, assume responsibility for your actions, make a commitment to change your life, and use your inner strength to help you stick to your resolve. then, you move on to the 12-week body makeover program. as you can probably imagine, the honesty part was the hardest for me. i've been deluding myself about my weight for the longest time, and finally facing the awful truth was very uncomfortable, to say the least. but i did it.
his diet plan wasn't all that hard, actually. once you get past the cornerstones, it's pretty easy to stick to the program. he has 5 simple eating rules:
- have an eating cut off time. preferably 3 hours before bedtime.
- eat a nourishing breakfast. it stops you from overeating the rest of the day. it also revs up your metabolism.
- drink a minimum of 6 8-ounce glasses of water everyday.
- eliminate alcohol.
- make eating a conscious act. when you do something consciously, you know what you're doing and why.
so now i'm on the south beach diet because i want to eliminate my craving for starchy sugary food. and i want to jump start my weight loss. if i see results right away, i am more likely to stick to a program. i'm also increasing my exercise load. let's see where this goes.
Posted by Patricia at 11:49 AM 0 comments
Labels: bob greene, dr. perricone, exercise, south beach diet, weight watchers
day 1
Monday, August 25, 2008
so i officially started on the south beach diet today. and it's really tough. i was able to get hold of a copy of the south beach diet supercharged from the library, so at least i didn't have to pay for a program.
i like the fact that the book contains a lot of recipes, so that i can still fulfill my love of cooking good food. and i like that fact that, unlike the atkins diet, it allows me to eat beans, which are really filling and high fibre, and drink unsweetened low-fat soymilk. i'm such a baby, i love my milk! i'm so happy dr. agastson recognized that calcium in dairy is actually important in weight loss. when i was on the atkins diet, the hardest part for me was turning my back on my favorite beverage of all time. at least now i don't feel so deprived.
i had a really good and healthy breakfast today. i roasted portobello mushrooms topped with slices of tomatoes and some basil pesto. then i layered some scrambled eggs and chopped chives on top. that was really yummy! but an hour and a half later and i was really craving for my usual starchy breakfast. i didn't give in though.
for mid morning snack i had 15 cashew nuts, and another roasted portobello mushroom with grated cheese and garlic on top. for lunch, i had vegetable quiche (no crust of course.) i will post my favorite south beach diet recipes in my multiply site later.
so far so good. but then again, it's just my first day. i'm keeping my fingers crossed.
Posted by Patricia at 2:46 PM 2 comments
Labels: south beach diet
i think i know my problem...
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
i have reverse anorexia. anorexics typically see themselves as fatter than they actually are. in my case, even though i am seriously obese, the image that i have of myself in my head is that of a normal person. yes, even when i look in the mirror. i'm fat, and i know i'm fat. but if you ask me to draw a picture of myself, i would draw a thin person. well not super thin like kate moss, but me in my ideal weight.
this image gets shaken whenever i see a photo of myself. that's why photoshop is my best friend.
this erroneous self-image is partly what prevented me from acknowledging my weight problem. even as the pounds kept piling on, my self-image remained skinny and allowed me to live comfortably in denial of the problem creeping up all around me.
the dsm (diagnostic and statistical manual for mental disorders) doesn't have a category for cases like mine. the closest thing would be body dysmorphic disorder, and that's what people who've had 100+ plastic surgeries have. did you see that girl who wants to look like barbie? yep, she has bdd.
but maybe i do have it in some degree. otherwise i wouldn't see myself as a sultry siren when in fact i'm closer to a whale.
Posted by Patricia at 4:10 PM 5 comments
Labels: health, neuroses, self-image, slimming, weight loss
trying out the south beach diet
one of my more successful attempts at losing weight was when i did the atkins diet while working out at the gym for 3 hours a day. i had just gotten out of a really horrible marriage and i was desperate to lose all the weight i had gained when i was depressed. a complete revamp was in order, and i had all the determination i needed to succeed.
and succeed i did.
my determination is not as great now, i'm very happy with who i am and what i do. i'm in a fabulous relationship with a good man who loves me and tries his best to make me happy. but i still want to lose weight because i know i have to.
so i'm going to try the south beach diet. i've heard of countless people who have lost weight on it. i will start on this next week, because i still have enough grocery items to last me a week. but i resolve to have only salads in the evening.
this is the first phase (grabbed from their website):
Phase 1, the shortest Phase, lasts for just two weeks and is designed to eliminate cravings for sugar and refined starches - and to jump-start your weight loss. The purpose of Phase 1 is to stabilize blood sugar (which minimizes cravings), making it ideal for people who are prediabetic or diabetic, as well as for those who need to lose a lot of weight.
The focus of this two-week period is on eating plenty of nutrient-dense, fiber-rich (and guaranteed delicious!) foods that satisfy your appetite. Your meals include lean protein, such as fish and other seafood; skinless white-meat poultry, and lean cuts of beef (vegetarians can enjoy meat substitutes, tofu, and beans); high-fiber veggies; reduced-fat cheeses; eggs; low-fat dairy; and healthy, unsaturated fats, such as those found in avocados, nuts and seeds, and extra-virgin olive and canola oils.
During Phase 1, you'll fill up on dishes like Chicken Breasts Stuffed With Spinach and Goat Cheese, Seared Pecan Salmon With Lentils, Garlic and Soy Grilled Pork Chops, and more.
The South Beach Diet encourages snacking, so you'll also get to choose two tasty snacks each day, like Spicy Nut Mix, reduced-fat cheese, and veggies with our zesty Peanut Dip. Plus, you'll dine on delicious desserts (every day!), including Chilled Espresso Custard, Heavenly Lemon Mousse, and our famed Ricotta Crème. With all the options - from gourmet meals to on-the-go snacks to quick weeknight dinners - you won't feel hungry or deprived!
Posted by Patricia at 2:24 PM 0 comments
Labels: south beach diet
quotes for the day
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
from, of all the weirdest sources, mary kate olsen!
Posted by Patricia at 9:24 PM 0 comments
Labels: inspiration
reality bites
i've been avoiding the weighing scale for i don't know how long. i suck at facing the truth. every time i manage to enrol in a gym and some fitness consultant tries to get my current weight, i mutter protestations just so i won't see exactly how terrible the situation is. as if by not seeing the numbers, i can change the facts. as if by not knowing, i can deny the truth.
today i tried on a dress that i wore early last year. i looked pretty in that dress, i loved the fit, the style, and i loved the memories that came with my wearing it.
i couldn't close the zipper.
waves of shame washed over me as i realized how much i really have gained. and this time, my bed rest of 4 years ago cannot be used as an excuse. sure i did gain a lot of weight (20kg) when i was pregnant. but i have gained some more in the past 2 years.
i will weigh myself today, and heaven help me if that needle doesn't move back 10 lbs every month.
Posted by Patricia at 3:28 PM 2 comments
Labels: weight gain, weight loss
the first week
Sunday, August 10, 2008
my first week didn't go very well. i walked a few miles everyday ( i try to reach 10,000 steps, but i was successful only 3 times), but that's about the only exercise i was able to do. my diet is a little better though. i'm taking it slowly so that i don't feel too deprived right away and therefore set myself up for failure. i don't skip meals, but i try to eat more vegetables. twice this week, i had salad for dinner (vinaigrette dressing) instead of my usual rice and meat. plus, i avoided snacking on sweets the whole week (well, except for one time when i ate one piece of godiva truffle).
next week, i plan to substitute salads for more of the meals (maybe 5 times that week, if i can bring myself to believe that a salad will ever be as tasty as pasta); and walk more miles.
Posted by Patricia at 4:09 PM 0 comments
the ballooning of me
Monday, August 4, 2008
Posted by Patricia at 7:35 PM 3 comments
Labels: before and after, health, weight gain
a shortage of will-power
Saturday, August 2, 2008
all my life, i've always admired women who were strong, decisive, elegant, talented, and accomplished. women like jacqueline kennedy, diana vreeland, clare boothe luce. while i definitely have jackie's penchant for pearls, i sadly lack her discipline and will power. she watched her weight almost obsessively, weighing herself every day. she jumped on her trampoline to maintain her figure, and cut down on her intake whenever she gained even a pound.
you may ask me, why not just be happy with the weight i'm in?
the answer is simple and superficial --- i love clothes! i love fashion! i like stepping out in stylish ensembles looking like a poster girl for mommy chic. and i can't do that if i'm obese!
forget about health risks. of course i'm aware of them, but they're not my primary motivation. i want to wear spaghetti straps, white cigarette pants with gauzy tunics, sheath dresses... i want to look good in long gowns as well as in jeans...i want to be able to wear whatever i want and not worry how the cellulite in my arms are displayed or how an outfit makes my huge belly more prominent.
i want to stop hiding in tent dresses and empire waists!
Posted by Patricia at 6:49 PM 7 comments
Labels: motivation
help me
only tough love works on me. it's not like i've never had to shed pounds before, because i have, and i did. but circumstances were different then.
oh no, i made another excuse. scratch that.
if i did it before, i can do it again. aaaaargh! it's so easy to say but i'm no match for a bowl of pasta with truffle oil and reduced white wine sauce.
please help me. anyone?
Posted by Patricia at 5:33 PM 6 comments
reinventing myself
here i am in my second home in cyberspace, posting my thoughts for all to read. the very thought sends shivers down my spine.
but i need to do this. i need a separate home for what i have to chronicle.
i am reinventing myself once again.
for years i have struggled with my excess weight and i don't like it. sure i can make up excuses to silence any complaints or comments from the people around me. but i am here because i'm saying that it will all stop. now. no more excuses.
i want to be ready to re-enter the work force in a few months, and to do that i need to shed at least some of these excess pounds. no employer will consider me seriously if i look like a slob, no matter how well put together my outfit will be or how fantastic my cv is. when i go to interviews with my butt spilling over the sides of the chair, i'm not going to get any respect.
so there. this is my journey to take charge of myself.
step one: lose 50 lbs. by december 2008.
do i even need to talk about the other steps? well, maybe i do. but that's for another blog.
Posted by Patricia at 5:06 PM 8 comments