the challenge

i'm being challenged this saturday. or at least my reaction to glucose is. because i'm an obese pregnant woman, my OB has ordered me to take the glucose challenge test. not that the baby is showing any signs of being too big (quite the opposite, actually), but just because i gained so much weight the past month. huhuhuhu (i'm almost back to my weight before i went on a diet last year. although at least, i'm 6 months pregnant now. last year i was just plain obese.)

so this friday, i have to stop eating by midnight in preparation for saturday morning's test. my appointment is at 8:30 in the morning and i'm not supposed to take anything but water until then. i don't know if i'll survive it, frankly. the test will last 3 hours, i'm told. because they'll have to administer the test 3 times, every hour.

pray for me, please?


*illustration by miss capricho

no chocolate binge ever goes unpunished

i knew it!

all those chocolates couldn't be good for anyone. no one is allowed to be that happy and not suffer any consequences.

at my last prenatal check up last tuesday, my bp reading was 165/80!!!!

i got so scared i called my OB in cebu. (the one i have here just told me to exercise more and eat less. needless to say wa koy salig. hahahaha) she told me i need to have urine test, which i already did. fortunately there was no protein in my urine, so that means i don't have preeclampsia. (for now). i just need to take it easy. she says it's probably just stress-induced hypertension worsened by my weight gain.

so yes, i do have to cut down on the sweets. but she also told me to take it easy and not do brisk walking anymore. oh, and no heavy lifting either. the good news is, i don't need to take any medication. whew!

but i think i do have to cut down on my projects. i've been working late the past few months because of the sheer volume of orders i've been getting. now i'm actually turning down clients, esp the ones i anticipate will be difficult. i don't need more stress in my life.

it's all chelo's fault

that basket of goodies she sent me started it all. i was such a good girl, eating only healthy food (albeit in great amounts), when i was confronted with boxes of chocolate covered biscuits from harrods. no self-respecting girl can ever refuse that you know. esp not when they were sent by a dear friend. to you. on your birthday!

i've been gobbling them up, day and night. and when they ran out, i ran to marks & spencer to buy the closest substitute i could find. and gobbled them up as well. woe unto me! or rather, my scale! 3 kg in 2 weeks. yes, the numbers don't lie. and i know where it all came from.

all of a sudden i have nothing to wear.

the bebe also grew a lot, i think. i can see his movements under my clothes now. and the once light flutters are now ass-kicking bumps. inconvenient at times, like when he kicked my bladder while we were in church. lol. the hubby is frustrated that the bebe stops moving whenever his hand is on my belly. well, i have 4 more weeks here before we leave for cebu, so that gives him plenty of time to let his daddy feel his movements.

showing

i'm running out of clothes to wear. i'm really showing now. my belly bump is not just a bump. it's the size of a basketball. i can't imagine how big i'll be when i reach full term! waaaah! but being a creature of habit, i'm still wearing jeans (with the extender, of course) and tent tshirts. they still fit me, but the shirts are a bit snug around my tummy now.

i wish i could wear dresses all the time! but my thighs are so huge, they rub when i walk. eww. i'm not one of those lucky women who, when they get pregnant, manage to look like a ball on a stick. you know what i mean, only their bellies get big. unfortunately, my thighs get jealous, and so do my arms. they have to put on some padding as well. maybe one of these days i'll post a picture so you'll see how big i am right now. i'm still trying to summon up the courage. =)

the ballooning of me

want to know how much weight i gained over the two week vacation? =P

8 lbs!

and that's despite my frequent throwing up. just imagine if i was just taking it all in!

at least i'm back to my daily brisk walking. i promise to eat healthier meals from now on. on monday i go back to phase 2 of south beach. no more white rice. no more white bread. goodbye siopao. goodbye biko. goodbye pasta.

aaaargh!

kare-kare + rice + apple pie + chocolate mousse + pandan cake + donuts = 5 lbs weight gain

i could kick myself

fourth time's the charm?

i've been struggling with weight all my life (well, at least since puberty hit). it's been up. it's been down. it's been all around.

when i was in grade 5, i weighed 125 lbs. i was only an inch or two shorter than my adult height because puberty came early for me. my dad's youngest sister put me on a diet when we visited cebu for the summer. i lost 30 lbs in two months and came back to school looking like most of my classmates -- slim and tall! woohoo! all of a sudden i was popular with the boys.

in high school i was still relatively slim, but i started gaining weight again, and by the time i was in first year college, i weighed 135 lbs on my 5'3" frame. (gosh, if i weighed like that now, i'd be wearing skinny jeans!) and i felt fat. i underwent reconstructive surgery on my jaw and was fed thru a naso-gastric tube for two months. they regulated my caloric intake so that i was only taking 900 calories a day. the weight i lost! none of my classmates recognized me when i went back to school! my waistline was back to 25! (i have a big frame, the last time my waisline was 24 or under was in grade school!)

i gained weight slowly but steadily through the years, and by the time i was 25, i had reached 150 lbs. 5 years later i was 50 lbs heavier. i overheard someone say, "have you seen pat? she looks like a barrel!" my life went really crazy at that point and i underwent a major makeover of everything i could possibly make over, including my body. i hit the gym every day for 3 hours, worked out like i was training for the olympics, and finally tried out the atkins diet. in 8 months i was back to 130 lbs and i felt finally in control.

this is the fourth time i'm doing this, and i hope i never have to do it again. i know yo-yo dieting is actually more dangerous than staying moderately fat because it taxes the heart. so i do hope fourth time's the charm. i intend to stick to this no matter what. and you have permission to boing me on the head if i allow myself to get fat again.

reality bites

i've been avoiding the weighing scale for i don't know how long. i suck at facing the truth. every time i manage to enrol in a gym and some fitness consultant tries to get my current weight, i mutter protestations just so i won't see exactly how terrible the situation is. as if by not seeing the numbers, i can change the facts. as if by not knowing, i can deny the truth.

today i tried on a dress that i wore early last year. i looked pretty in that dress, i loved the fit, the style, and i loved the memories that came with my wearing it.

i couldn't close the zipper.

waves of shame washed over me as i realized how much i really have gained. and this time, my bed rest of 4 years ago cannot be used as an excuse. sure i did gain a lot of weight (20kg) when i was pregnant. but i have gained some more in the past 2 years.

i will weigh myself today, and heaven help me if that needle doesn't move back 10 lbs every month.

the ballooning of me

it's frightening how in 5 years
i turned from this:


into this: