fourth time's the charm?

i've been struggling with weight all my life (well, at least since puberty hit). it's been up. it's been down. it's been all around.

when i was in grade 5, i weighed 125 lbs. i was only an inch or two shorter than my adult height because puberty came early for me. my dad's youngest sister put me on a diet when we visited cebu for the summer. i lost 30 lbs in two months and came back to school looking like most of my classmates -- slim and tall! woohoo! all of a sudden i was popular with the boys.

in high school i was still relatively slim, but i started gaining weight again, and by the time i was in first year college, i weighed 135 lbs on my 5'3" frame. (gosh, if i weighed like that now, i'd be wearing skinny jeans!) and i felt fat. i underwent reconstructive surgery on my jaw and was fed thru a naso-gastric tube for two months. they regulated my caloric intake so that i was only taking 900 calories a day. the weight i lost! none of my classmates recognized me when i went back to school! my waistline was back to 25! (i have a big frame, the last time my waisline was 24 or under was in grade school!)

i gained weight slowly but steadily through the years, and by the time i was 25, i had reached 150 lbs. 5 years later i was 50 lbs heavier. i overheard someone say, "have you seen pat? she looks like a barrel!" my life went really crazy at that point and i underwent a major makeover of everything i could possibly make over, including my body. i hit the gym every day for 3 hours, worked out like i was training for the olympics, and finally tried out the atkins diet. in 8 months i was back to 130 lbs and i felt finally in control.

this is the fourth time i'm doing this, and i hope i never have to do it again. i know yo-yo dieting is actually more dangerous than staying moderately fat because it taxes the heart. so i do hope fourth time's the charm. i intend to stick to this no matter what. and you have permission to boing me on the head if i allow myself to get fat again.