aaaargh!

kare-kare + rice + apple pie + chocolate mousse + pandan cake + donuts = 5 lbs weight gain

i could kick myself

just thoughts

please forgive the self-congratulatory tone on my recent posts.

it's just that i've been working so hard for this and i can't help but be happy with my progress.

there are days when i feel like quitting. it's too hard! i miss eating pasta! and crepes! and all-butter cranberry cookies from marks and spencer! it's particularly difficult when my little boy eats all of those and i have to feed him. last night he ate a chocolate danish, and he asked me to pour condensed milk on top of it. but when he found out how sticky it was, he didn't want to touch it, so he asked me to feed him. that was torture! the danish was in my hands and i could smell all its buttery and chocolatey yumminess. i wanted to cry.

goodness knows where i get my self control. whatever it is that i'm doing, it's going against my nature. if i didn't have all of you to be accountable to, i'd have given up a long time ago.

discipline and how to get it

here's something i learned ---

just decide you're going to do something, and do it.

don't think about it, don't get bogged down in the emotions of it.

just shut everything else out and do it.



no excuses.