the road to fabulous

my superpower

2010-04-08T14:43:00.004+08:00

ommy = milk source. that's all this little darling knows. see that open-mouthed expression on his face? that's how he greets me! =) like i'm his favorite food.

oh, i love the way he looks when he's had his fill - his eyes get all sleepy, and he starts looking like he's drunk. breastmilk is such a potent sleep-inducer that i don't even have to rock him to sleep. it knocks him out automatically! =)

i keep trying to give him formula but he rejects it. when he was less than a month old, he had these 3-hour marathon nursing sessions that left me wanting to surrender. so i tried to end each one with a 3-oz supplement. he spits it out and makes a face, as if he was being fed vinegar! this boy has very particular preferences! i'm just thankful that i can provide it for him. of course it would be so much easier if he would drink a bit of formula every now and then. it would mean i could go out for longer periods, for example. but i'm not complaining.

does it affect my diet? definitely. i cannot go on a serious weight-loss diet for one thing. i'm hungry all the time. and i can't cut down on any particular food group because it will affect my milk. but the great thing about it is, if you breastfeed exclusively, you burn about 500 calories a day. so yes, i'm still losing weight even if i'm not controlling my intake. i'm not saying i stuff my face with sweets and pasta everyday. of course not! i eat until i'm full - and i get 3 full meals and 2 snacks every day. plus lots and lots of water. LOTS and LOTS!

getting back in shape

2010-04-08T14:30:00.004+08:00

# t's been a little over two months and i'm back to my old active self again. i waited until 8 weeks after delivery before i did any exercise, although taking care of a baby is in itself a workout. all those sleepless nights, getting up to change the diaper, breastfeeding, bathing the baby...

sigh. if only people can lose weight as fast as you do right after childbirth! 20 lbs in one week, can you believe it? (although i need to give birth 3 more times to get back to my goal weight. hehehe) since then i've lost 10 more and i'm happy.

it's not without effort though. my old elliptical machine is here, so i use it every day for my cardio workout. i started with 15 minutes during the first agony-filled week. now i'm doing 30 minutes. and i feel great!

nothing can give you so much energy like a good cardio workout. i feel stronger and so NOT post partum. and that's the best benefit of all! =)

deja vu at the nicu

2010-02-04T15:03:00.000+08:00

i finally found time to blog!

the whole experience of giving birth to raoul and his first week was like a repeat performance of what happened when i gave birth to vito --- only a little bit easier. we checked in at chong hua hospital the night before the 23rd, and i was prepped and interviewed at the delivery room where i was repeatedly asked if i was having any labor pains. (i wasn't.) after a long wait, i was finally wheeled into our room a few minutes before midnight, my cut-off time for any food or liquids. (of course i drank as much water as i could before the clock struck twelve!)

i woke up early the next morning since my c-section was scheduled at 7am. everything happened so fast after they transferred me to a stretcher and sent me to the operating room. raoul was pulled out of my tummy at exactly 7:46am and he let out a long and really loud cry!

my recovery was faster this time, although i did have to endure severe nausea at the recovery room (a reaction to the epidural and the morphine). i was able to get up the day after and walk about, and my digestive system also started to work at about the same day. for two days i was waiting for news about raoul, but they just said he was under observation. his pedia anticipated the blood type incompatibility issue and had asked for tests to be done right away.

true enough, on the 3rd day (monday) he had developed jaundice and was placed under photo-therapy. i visited him at the nursery to breastfeed but we had some problems latching on at first --- he would just smile at my boobs! after a few tries we finally got the hang of it. i visited him regularly at the NICU so i could breastfeed him.

i was discharged on tuesday, much earlier than i had anticipated. had i known what was coming, i would have requested for another day more. that very afternoon, raoul's pediatrician said he needed a blood transfusion because his hemoglobin count was going down, even though his bilirubin levels weren't going as high as expected. she said it was actually strange because it's usually worse for 2nd babies. (someone up there heard our prayers.)

we didn't have to search hard for volunteers to donate blood, several kind souls offered readily. what was difficult to find was someone who would pass the criteria. most of the volunteers were eliminated for various reasons until finally, my cousin (a pediatrician himself, incidentally) passed. but it took several hours for the entire process to be completed, and raoul's blood transfusion was delayed until the next day.

it was heartbreaking to see him going through the transfusion, but at least it was a simple blood transfusion, not the exchange blood transfusion that vito had to go through. that was a much more dangerous process that involved completely replacing all his blood with the donor blood. plus, raoul also spent less time under the bili-lights (vito spent more than a week under phototherapy, raoul only 2 days). so it wasn't quite the ordeal that we were afraid of.

having gone through worse during vito's time, there were also less tears, less anxiety. we knew raoul would pull through. although it didn't stop us from asking why our sons had to suffer at such a young age. funny enough, we got an answer after we asked the question. i got a call from a mom asking if i was willing to donate the unused bags of blood because her baby needed a transfusion too and they couldn't find any donors nor afford to buy blood. i say it's funny because the very same thing happened during vito's time. that's our role after all.

a big thank you to all those who helped us pray for his recovery. really special thanks to mimi, chelo, dindin, therese, and malou. you know why. =)

i'm happy we finally have raoul home. he's such a sweet boy! he doesn't cry much, only when he's hungry. during the day he feeds every 2-3 hours, although at night, between midnight to 4am, he's hungry every hour, and poops as often too! =) he's a creature of the night, this baby. so most days you'll find me trying to steal a few hours of sleep in between feeds. manuel has been a great help. i don't know how i'll manage when he goes back to singapore on saturday. i don't want to think about it, the thought saddens me so much.

i have to end this now, raoul needs a diaper change. =) until next time!

last thoughts before the homerun

2010-01-13T13:05:00.003+08:00

it's amazing how, when you're pregnant, you hear all sorts of unsolicited advice from just about anyone. and i mean anyone --- from the hairdresser to the shakoy vendor!

i find it funny that everyone tries to guess if i'm carrying a boy or a girl and everyone seems to get it wrong! hahahah. they all think i'm carrying a girl, either because of the way i look, or the shape of my tummy. seriously, if i hadn't seen the proof in the sonogram 5 times, i'd probably start believing them. everyone seems to have a strong opinion about how to predict the baby's sex based on really weird criteria. ah well, there's only one sure way to find out anyway, and i'm going to next week. =)

i think if i actually listened to what everyone says to me, i'd have gone crazy a long time ago. rest more. exercise more. eat less. eat more. drink milk. don't drink milk. put your feet up. go walking. it's a good thing i only listen to what my OB says. that's what i pay her for anyway, right?

it would be great to know exactly how my baby's doing inside my belly. but i haven't had an ultrasound since i left singapore. i can feel the movements changing in nature (waves now instead of violent kicks). and i can actually feel the contours of the baby from the outside. do i worry about him being small or large? not really. vito was a really tiny neonate. he was only 6lbs, because he came out at 37 weeks. and i had a hard time making him gain weight because he developed gastro-esophageal reflux after a few months. yet, look at him now! so yes, i know i need not worry. big or small, this baby will be loved and that's that.

preparing oneself mentally for childbirth is so much harder than the other preparations. oh yes, we're about ready with all the baby stuff. i'm not so sure about the rest though. i still have my fears of not having the same energy level i had before (i'm 5 years older, after all), and having to divide my attention between the baby and his big brother so that neither one comes out feeling rejected.

maybe i'll start thinking about that next week. there's still work to be done, projects to finish, emails to answer. pray for me?

starting the new year

2010-01-07T09:28:00.002+08:00

i know i haven't written anything for the past several weeks. i've just been really busy and lazy at the same time. being in my last trimester of pregnancy leaves me with very little energy to do anything else other than fulfill my (more pressing) commitments.

oh, what will i write after a long blog absence?

my bp has gone down to normal about a week after arriving in cebu. and has stayed that way too. my prenatal check-ups are now more frequent, and except for edema in my ankles and feet and incontinence, everything else seems to be going well. the baby is active, although he's probably really snug inside my tummy by now. i've had a urinalysis that indicated i don't have preeclampsia, so that's great.

the supergirls held a fantastic baby shower for me, and i'm still grinning everytime i think about it. it wasn't necessary, but i loved every minute of it and i can't get over the fact that you went to all that trouble! thank you girls!

i'm scheduled to give birth on the 23rd of january. (it was initially planned on the 22nd but my OB will be attending an important conference, so it's been moved.) i can't wait to hold my little boy in my arms at last.

harassed

2009-11-13T18:38:00.002+08:00

i'm leaving for cebu on the 21st, and scrambling to finish orders so i don't leave any clients hanging. can't believe i have only a week left to do everything! and i haven't even started packing yet! or even making a list of things to bring! waaaaah! forgive me if i haven't been leaving comments as often as i used to. i read your blogs, i visit your sites, and you're all on my mind throughout the day. things are just really crazy here.

hugs to everyone!

normal!!!!

2009-11-10T16:51:00.003+08:00

i got the results of my glucose tolerance test today. and i don't have gestational diabetes! wooopeeee! thanks for all your prayers! i want to celebrate by eating ice cream. hahahaha! but i won't. i'll be a good girl and watch my weight. =)

it was a crazy weekend. on friday night we were at our regular bible study gathering. we went home at about 1am, slept at 2, and i woke up at 6 because i couldn't sleep well. so i was really sleepy when i got to the hospital lab. manuel was very kind, he took care of vito, did the grocery-shopping, and they both waited at timezone for me. i had a nice book to read (the evil seed by joanne harris) so i didn't get bored while waiting for the test to finish.

they extracted my blood three times. the first time before they gave the glucose, the 2nd time an hour after, and the third, an hour after the 2nd. the glucose formula they gave tasted a bit like royal tru orange, except that it was extremely sweet. like they put in a cup of sugar into a 150ml container. i kept drinking water to wash the taste away.

surprisingly i didn't feel hungry at all. perhaps it was because of the homemade pandesal i ate before the cutoff time the previous night. =D i did feel woozy afterward, and it lasted until the next day. maybe it was the combination of lack of sleep, food deprivation, and having blood extracted 3 times. i'm just glad it was over. and that i can still eat sweets. hahahahaha!

the challenge

2009-11-03T18:27:00.004+08:00

i'm being challenged this saturday. or at least my reaction to glucose is. because i'm an obese pregnant woman, my OB has ordered me to take the glucose challenge test. not that the baby is showing any signs of being too big (quite the opposite, actually), but just because i gained so much weight the past month. huhuhuhu (i'm almost back to my weight before i went on a diet last year. although at least, i'm 6 months pregnant now. last year i was just plain obese.)

so this friday, i have to stop eating by midnight in preparation for saturday morning's test. my appointment is at 8:30 in the morning and i'm not supposed to take anything but water until then. i don't know if i'll survive it, frankly. the test will last 3 hours, i'm told. because they'll have to administer the test 3 times, every hour.

pray for me, please?

*illustration by miss capricho

paranoia

2009-11-02T08:33:00.002+08:00

i've reached the stage when i can't see past my belly. both literally and figuratively.

my entire consciousness just revolves around my tummy and everything that's happening inside it. and i'm so worried. it took me months before i realized i was pregnant. before that, i was taking so many things that a pregnant woman shouldn't. bailey's irish creme for after dinner drinks. acne medication.

maybe that's why i have this recurring dream that my baby has no arms. i'm so scared! and i'm at high risk for every complication and birth defect, you know. waaaaah!

no chocolate binge ever goes unpunished

2009-10-30T12:03:00.004+08:00

i knew it!

all those chocolates couldn't be good for anyone. no one is allowed to be that happy and not suffer any consequences.

at my last prenatal check up last tuesday, my bp reading was 165/80!!!!

i got so scared i called my OB in cebu. (the one i have here just told me to exercise more and eat less. needless to say wa koy salig. hahahaha) she told me i need to have urine test, which i already did. fortunately there was no protein in my urine, so that means i don't have preeclampsia. (for now). i just need to take it easy. she says it's probably just stress-induced hypertension worsened by my weight gain.

so yes, i do have to cut down on the sweets. but she also told me to take it easy and not do brisk walking anymore. oh, and no heavy lifting either. the good news is, i don't need to take any medication. whew!

but i think i do have to cut down on my projects. i've been working late the past few months because of the sheer volume of orders i've been getting. now i'm actually turning down clients, esp the ones i anticipate will be difficult. i don't need more stress in my life.

it's all chelo's fault

2009-10-26T18:33:00.002+08:00

that basket of goodies she sent me started it all. i was such a good girl, eating only healthy food (albeit in great amounts), when i was confronted with boxes of chocolate covered biscuits from harrods. no self-respecting girl can ever refuse that you know. esp not when they were sent by a dear friend. to you. on your birthday!

i've been gobbling them up, day and night. and when they ran out, i ran to marks & spencer to buy the closest substitute i could find. and gobbled them up as well. woe unto me! or rather, my scale! 3 kg in 2 weeks. yes, the numbers don't lie. and i know where it all came from.

all of a sudden i have nothing to wear.

the bebe also grew a lot, i think. i can see his movements under my clothes now. and the once light flutters are now ass-kicking bumps. inconvenient at times, like when he kicked my bladder while we were in church. lol. the hubby is frustrated that the bebe stops moving whenever his hand is on my belly. well, i have 4 more weeks here before we leave for cebu, so that gives him plenty of time to let his daddy feel his movements.

warning: contains suggestive language

2009-10-26T18:16:00.004+08:00

there are only two things on my mind nowadays: food and sex. but while my cravings for food change every few weeks (what i'm crazy about one month will nauseate me the next), my appetite for sex has remained constant and unchanging. i'm horny all the time! i even dream about it!

this is probably one of the nicest things about being pregnant (for me). i desire my husband so much, it borders on obsession. i can't sleep if i don't smell him or touch him. when he's away at work, i can't stop thinking of being with him again at night. it's like the heady flush of early love, i tell ya. he finds it funny, i think. he laughs when i grope him any chance i can. yes, my prudish husband doesn't know what to do with his nympho pregnant wife. lol!

he's like a drug to me, sometimes. as the day wears on, my energy stores get depleted like a cellphone's battery after a 2-hour call. i feel tired, sleepy, listless. and then he walks in the door and i feel alive again! i don't know what i'll do when we go to cebu. i told him he should give me a worn shirt, something with his smell on it, so i can take it with me and sleep with it. i'm glad i won't be going home until the last possible moment i can. i don't know if i can survive being without him for a so long.

momnesia

2009-10-22T09:26:00.003+08:00

peripartum amnesia.

it started out really funny, just minor lapses in short term memory like forgetting to turn on the rice cooker, or not knowing where i put my phone. last week, i went to the bathroom to put on my contact lenses, as i usually do after i clean the flat. i panicked when i saw that my containers were open and empty. and then i glanced up at the mirror and saw that i was already wearing them -- but i had absolutely no recollection of ever doing so!

another day, i wanted to call my sister about something important. i usually only call when it's really urgent, otherwise i'll send her an email. so i was holding the phone and sat down in front of the computer when she suddenly when online in ym. great! i thought, now i don't need to call. except that i had already forgotten what i needed to ask her. until now i can't remember.

it's crazy! really crazy! yesterday it turned dangerous. i turned on the stove to cook eggs for vito and forgot to turn it off. an hour later i was smelling gas all over the flat.

how am i going to deal with this? should i carry post-its and stick them on my arm every time i need to remember something important?

i don't think i'm just imagining this. or that this is a result of my not using my brain, because i do use my brain often! i'm teaching myself web design and development (and we're not talking just css codes here) and believe me, it's not as easy at it looks. i read about a study that shows the hormone oxytocin has selective effects on memory. i'm more inclined to believe that it's hormonal. i don't know any other explanation for it!

38 things to do before i die

2009-10-13T12:14:00.001+08:00

tomorrow i turn 38. *gasp*
thoughts of my mortality always crop up near my birthday, and this time, it got me thinking of the things i want to do before i go (not so) gently into that good night:

1. join an archeological dig somewhere in the mediterranean
2. eat paella in valencia, spain
3. eat pizza in naples, italy
4. go on a luxury cruise (preferably on the queen mary 2)
5. ride the orient express (the venice simplon-orient-express that goes from istanbul-budapest-bucharest-venice)
6. learn how to make soufflé and macarons in paris
7. watch les miserables on broadway
8. ice skate in the lincoln center on christmas day
9. learn to make pasta from scratch, in tuscany
10. tour a winery in france
11. go to the top of the eiffel tower
12. spend an entire week touring the louvre
13. build houses for habitat for humanity
14. plant 100 trees
15. go to venice before it sinks and feed the pigeons at piazza san marco
16. visit rome, tour the vatican, look at each one of bernini's sculptures
17. eat a hotdog in the streets of new york while watching the macy's thanksgiving parade
18. watch a couple of matches in wimbledon (preferably with federer playing) --- i'll bring daddy along.
19. host a party at a vineyard in italy, in the fall, and invite all my friends
20. take a course in a very obscure subject that the world has no use for, like ancient egyptian bread-making or something like that.
21. go to london with mommy, it's got to be with mommy; and have afternoon tea at the ritz
22. tour all the castles in ireland
23. learn dressmaking
24. bring my kids to a dinosaur museum
25. spend a week at disneyland (with the kids, of course)
26. go to the opera (preferably la traviata or la boheme)
27. see all the major works of monet, gaugin, van gogh, and renoir
28. go on a gastronomic tour of italy and france
29. watch the sun set over uluru
30. fly a plane (it's one of my ultimate fears)
32. read all the classics
33. have my portrait painted
34. ride a camel in egypt and see the pyramids
35. teach someone illiterate to read (oh wait, i've done that with vito. hahahaha!)
36. drive a convertible with the top down and music blaring, or let manuel drive and i sit on the passenger seat. that's good enough for me. =)
37. go to walden pond and read thoreau while drifting on a canoe (manuel has to hold the oars, of course)
38. listen to beethoven's 9th symphony played live by the new york philharmonic orchestra

how about you? what's on your list?

preparing for raoul

2009-10-03T10:23:00.006+08:00

i just realized that in about 6 or so weeks, i'll be leaving for cebu. you would think that gives me enough time to finish everything i need to do, but i feel panicky. i haven't even started buying baby essentials. as i said before, raoul is an unexpected and (unplanned) gift. we had already decided that we weren't going to have any more kids after vito so we gave away all of vito's baby things. we're back to zero.

i'm posting a list of things we need so i can refer to this as the months go by. maybe i'll purchase some of them in cebu. or maybe i'll start buying them slowly while i'm still here. i still haven't decided on whether we should set up a nursery. maybe a portion of our spare room (my office is here, and so are vito's toys) can be set up for the baby. i'll have to clear out some of the bookshelves to make way for raoul's things. where i'm going to transfer the contents, i have no idea! =)

things to buy:

SLEEPING

~~Complete Cot set - (pillows, blankets, sheets)~~

Baby-Safe Cot Mattress (needed in sg)

Cot blankets

complete bassinet set (needed in cebu)

BATHING & CHANGING

Baby bathtub (for cebu)

baby towels and washers (needed in cebu)

baby grooming set: hairbrush & comb, digital thermometer, nasal aspirator

FEEDING

breastfeeding pillow

breastfeeding bib (for me, so I can breastfeed in public without flashing anyone)

~~a few baby bottles, preferably avent newborn ones~~

~~avent breast pump~~

GENERAL

toys

baby mobile

nappy stacker/diaper caddy

~~baskets~~

going out clothes

~~onesies~~

booties and socks

GOING OUT

Pram/stroller

~~Baby carrier/sling~~

~~Nappy/Diaper bag~~

whew! i have to work doubly hard to afford all these things! that's why i've been accepting more orders than i can handle. don't wonder why i've been quiet lately, i've just been really busy and exhausted. manuel is saving up for the hospital expenses, so i said i'll take care of the baby's stuff.

perspective

2009-09-28T16:36:00.003+08:00

i'm greatly saddened by the effects of the flood in manila. what a truly horrible catastrophe. all of a sudden, my troubles seem too small and insignificant compared to what people over there are going through right now.

what was i even worried about? i don't even remember anymore.

it's time to give thanks for blessings instead.

i'm happy that i gained only .8 kg in the past month. i went for a prenatal last saturday and i almost leapt with joy when i stepped on the scale. 800 grams in one month isn't bad, considering that 300 of it went to the baby. (i think maybe 200 went to my boobs as they're even bigger now.) at least my constant vigilance seems to be working.

the doctor warned me that my haemoglobin count is very low. i've always been anemic so i wasn't surprised. but she told me it's causing my baby to be on the small side. so that's not good. i need to take more iron supplements and to eat more food rich in iron. hello red meat! =D

the blood test and urine test also showed that i don't have gestational diabetes, which is a big relief!

i'm also grateful that i've been getting a lot of orders lately. more than i can handle, in fact. i still can't believe that there are people who actually want to pay me to do something i absolutely love to do! i'll count myself blessed, and i'm really truly grateful.

what are you grateful for this week?

plus size and pregnant

2009-09-23T08:51:00.003+08:00

i'm due for another prenatal check-up this saturday. i hope everything will be fine. i've been doing my best to eat healthy and to exercise regularly. hey, i'm still doing the same exercise i did when i was trying to lose weight, ok? 1 hour of brisk-walking 5 times a week. sometimes i even remember to lift weights. (sometimes!)

it worries me that i've been gaining a lot of weight. i should be gaining less, but i think my genes might have something to do with it as well. i'm just not one of the lucky ones, no matter what i do. there are times when i wish i could go on a diet again, but on the days when i try to go back to phase 2 of the south beach, i feel really nauseous and i can't function for the entire day. maybe it's the lack of carbs. there's nothing like carbs to comfort a queasy tummy.

today i had a really healthy sandwich for breakfast. wholegrain bun, with leg ham, a handful of lettuce leaves, slices of tomato, a slice of cheese, some mayo and wholegrain mustard. yum! but then i started feeling nauseous afterwards. i don't get it. surely it doesn't mean i'm doomed to eat oatmeal forever and ever?

pasta cravings

2009-09-21T18:50:00.003+08:00

of course i know why i've been gaining too much weight. carbs. evil evil delicious carbs.
i can't help it. they make me feel better. and let's face it, i can't exactly go on a diet while i'm pregnant.

i love this vongole i made. or should i say spaghetti ala vongole because i'm pretty sure i skipped some necessary ingredients. i made it really spicy (i can still eat spicy food, i'm not suffering from heartburn yet) and manuel loved it! he actually finished 3 plates-full of it. come to think of it, he has been eating 3 times what i eat lately. so he also looks 5 months pregnant. hahahahaha!

here it is

2009-09-21T18:35:00.002+08:00

the bump
has finally surpassed my boobs
i now look very pregnant
as if pregnancy has degrees
(i think it does)
in a few more weeks
i will start to look like a hippo
as if i don't look like one now.

showing

2009-09-14T22:10:00.000+08:00

i'm running out of clothes to wear. i'm really showing now. my belly bump is not just a bump. it's the size of a basketball. i can't imagine how big i'll be when i reach full term! waaaah! but being a creature of habit, i'm still wearing jeans (with the extender, of course) and tent tshirts. they still fit me, but the shirts are a bit snug around my tummy now.

i wish i could wear dresses all the time! but my thighs are so huge, they rub when i walk. eww. i'm not one of those lucky women who, when they get pregnant, manage to look like a ball on a stick. you know what i mean, only their bellies get big. unfortunately, my thighs get jealous, and so do my arms. they have to put on some padding as well. maybe one of these days i'll post a picture so you'll see how big i am right now. i'm still trying to summon up the courage. =)

sadness

2009-09-14T21:46:00.000+08:00

i just learned today that a dear friend who got pregnant at the same time as i did, lost her baby just a few weeks ago. =( i wish i could be with her right now. the last time i saw her we were sharing a kilo of lanzones and discussing our myriad of pregnancy woes and symptoms.

chocolate fix

2009-09-12T11:26:00.002+08:00

thank goodness for swiss miss diet cocoa! if not for this, i wouldn't be able to indulge in a daily chocolate fix. at only 25 calories per packet, it doesn't affect my daily calorie intake that much. and it tastes just as good as the regular one! i usually add a bit of nonfat milk though, just to increase my calcium intake.

now, if only they made sugar-free marshmallows to go with it. =) a girl, can dream, can't she? =D

temper! temper!

2009-09-10T21:09:00.000+08:00

dang these hormones!

why can't i control my temper? the slightest thing can drive me screaming mad these days! aaargh! there are people that i actually want to throttle and kick, can you believe it? i'm so glad some of them are not around because i can't promise to behave myself if i do see them. i feel like an amazon warrior with an axe to grind. a valkyrie on a motorbike weilding a sword. beware all who cross my path.

breathe patricia. breathe.

the stress is so not good for me. i will focus on happy thoughts. pink. candy floss. shopping. casseroles. ice cream. butterflies. fairy dust. polkadots. moonbeams...

and exhale.

attack of the lazies

2009-09-09T21:19:00.000+08:00

lazy, lazy, lazy

that's what i am this week. i spend all my afternoons lying down reading or taking a nap. mornings are for housework and answering emails. evenings are for working on themes (for 2 hours or so). and that's it. no classes this week for vito, it's their term break before the last term starts next week. that means i don't even need to go out of the house! yay!

i'm still eating healthy, don't worry. =) oatmeal for breakfast with nonfat milk and a bit of sugar. lunch usually means leftovers from the night before. and for dinner some dish with lots of veggies. i also make sure i eat either an apple, a banana, or pineapple slices, and drink a potassium-rich fruit juice. i take my vitamins religiously. i notice i don't have much of an appetite at night. i still get a bit nauseous until now.

but! no more headaches. no more hypertension. =) oh, and i'm on my 19th week now! that means i've reached the halfway mark. my ob has scheduled me for cs on my 38th week. i cannot go into labor because my uterus is scarred in many places. either it will rupture, or it won't be capable of synchronized contractions. either way, cs it is.

the weekend chef

2009-09-07T17:12:00.000+08:00

i forgot to keep track of what i ate over the weekend. i'm sure it was more of the same things. except that sundays are pancake days. so i had a couple of small pancakes for breakfast yesterday. yum!

manuel cooked. he loves to cook. he wishes he could work as a chef instead of crunching numbers all day. so every weekend the kitchen is his.

you should taste his baked chicken. it's the best in the world! if anyone of you manages to apparate over here, i will ask him to cook his baked chicken for you.

resting

2009-09-04T14:09:00.000+08:00

i love lazy days! yesterday was spent reading novels and revamping my patsthemes site. nothing even remotely productive (or income generating). in other words, a perfectly happy day! at least for a pregnant woman who easily overheats. =D

here's my food list:

breakfast: 1 c oatmeal with 1 c nonfat milk and 1 tsp sugar. (this is getting to be boring. and i find myself hungry again after 2 hours.)
mid morning snack: 1 apple, 2 slices toasted baguette with butter
lunch: 1 1/2 c kiddie style spaghetti (you know, with hotdogs, mushrooms, sweet tomato sauce, and lots of cheese)
afternoon snack: 1 apple with 1/4 c walnuts
dinner: 1 1/2 c stir-fried garlic bud stalks with tofu. 1/2 c rice.
dessert: 2 tbsp strawberry ice cream

success!

2009-09-03T11:39:00.000+08:00

for two days now by bp has gone down to 120/80. yay! i'm glad to see results right away. i think the calcium really works.

yesterday i overtaxed myself and i almost collapsed. never again. today i'm resting. didn't even send vito to school because i don't want to be stressed. i have muscle pains all over! pregnant women cannot carry 3kg of books and walk 4kms under the heat of the noonday sun. i was irresponsible.

my food choices for yesterday echoed the ones for tuesday.

breakfast - 1 c oatmeal again with nonfat milk and 1 tsp sugar.
midmorning snack - 1 fuji apple
lunch - 1 siopao (i had to stop on the way home and eat the siopao i bought for my afternoon snack because i was about to faint from low blood sugar levels. i was actually shaking and felt very weak)
- 1/2 c rice, 1 c stir-fried cauliflower and brocolli, 1 c sauteed long beans, 1/2 c sweet sour pork
afternoon snack - none
dinner - leftover chicken fajitas with grilled veggies on 1 wholemeal tortilla
dessert - 1/2 c strawberry ice cream (the kind with real fruits in it)

kind words

2009-09-01T20:23:00.000+08:00

some people really know how to make others feel better. today was a school holiday so jessica, my singaporean friend and mom to vito's bff, organized another swimming party. i was talking to linda, my aussie friend, and bemoaning the fact that i had gained 8kg since i got pregnant. she said, "you know, i gained 6 kg since we last saw each other and i'm not even pregnant. i bet that makes you feel better, huh?" hahahahaah! oh, you bet it did!

the other moms were trying to cheer me up and telling me how wonderful it is to have 2 kids of the same sex. actually all of them have 2 boys each. so now i'll be part of the club. =)

anyway, here's my food diary entry for today:
breakfast: 1 c oatmeal made from rolled oats, 1 c nonfat milk, 1 tsp sugar, 1 tsp raisins
mid morning snack: 1 medium banana
lunch: 1/2 pancit guisado, 1/2 c fried rice w veggies, 1 c chicken/mango/lettuce salad w no dressing. dessert: 2 old-fashioned donuts. 1 c unsweetened apple juice.
afternoon snack: 1 banana, 1/2 c pancit guisado (had to eat the leftovers)
dinner: chicken fajitas made of -- 1 wholewheat tortilla, 3 grilled chicken strips, 4 strips grilled bell pepper, 3 strips grilled eggplant, 1 tsp mayo w garlic, 4 lettuce leaves.
after-dinner drink: chamomile vanilla tea

monday's food list

2009-08-31T22:21:00.000+08:00

i walked so much today! i hope i burned a lot of calories.

sadly, i think i overcompensated by eating too much. if only i didn't get so hungry after exercising!

breakfast: 1 c oatmeal made from rolled oats, 1 c nonfat milk, 1 tsp sugar
mid morning snack: (after walking for 1 1/2 hrs) sandwich made from high-fibre bread slices, 2 slices leg ham, 1 slice cheese, 5 lettuce leaves, 1 tbsp mayo
lunch: 1/2 c rice, 1 1/2c stir-fried cauliflower, broccoli & sayote, 1 palm-sized breaded fish fillet. 1 c pineapple for dessert.
afternoon snack: 1 veggie spring roll, 1 siopao
dinner: 1 1/2 c pancit guisado with lots and lots of veggies, 1 banana for dessert

here we go again

2009-08-31T14:12:00.001+08:00

in my last prenatal visit, my bp was slightly elevated. 140/60. i don't know if it was the accumulation of a week of eating sambal chilli (like bagoong with chilli), a lack of sleep the night before, plus vito going wild in the waiting area of the doctor's clinic as they were taking my bp. strangely, my doctor didn't even mention it. i read up on it, and most sites say that 140/60 is still mild gestational hypertension. no medication needed, just monitoring.

i called my sister and my mom for free advice, and i was told to increase my calcium intake to 1,500mg or even 2,000mg a day; increase potassium intake (more bananas, pineapple, and apples); decrease salt; and get more bed rest during the day (to help the baby get bigger); and continue with my walking. i'm also watching what i eat very carefully, so i will be posting my food diary again. you don't have to read it if you don't want to. =)

here's my entry for sunday:

breakfast: 2 small pancakes, 1 tsp butter, 1 tbsp sugar-free syrup, 1 tbsp maple syrup, 1/4 c nonfat milk. 1 mug green tea with 1 tsp sugar and 1/2 c nonfat milk
midmorning snack: 1/3 c broad beans
lunch: 1/2 c rice, 1/2 c monggo soup, 1/2 of a chicken drumstick, 1 slice low sodium luncheon meat.
afternoon snack: 1 apple, 1 cup sikwati with 1 tsp sugar and low fat milk
dinner: 1/2 c rice, 1 grilled chicken leg (thigh and drumstick), 1 cup tomato and salted egg salad, 3 pcs calamansi squeezed over everything.

the ballooning of me

2009-08-06T13:37:00.000+08:00

want to know how much weight i gained over the two week vacation? =P

8 lbs!

and that's despite my frequent throwing up. just imagine if i was just taking it all in!

at least i'm back to my daily brisk walking. i promise to eat healthier meals from now on. on monday i go back to phase 2 of south beach. no more white rice. no more white bread. goodbye siopao. goodbye biko. goodbye pasta.

crazy cravings

2009-08-06T13:34:00.000+08:00

even my dear husband says it's not me. why would i brave the crowds at lucky plaza on a sunday just to eat sinigang and buy nagaraya? =) it's not me, it's my cravings. i prefer biko over cheesecake. achara over pasta. sinigang over anything else. weirdness!

the food trip

2009-07-13T17:45:00.004+08:00

i'm starting to feel hungry, and that's a good sign. =) it means the nausea is easing out. i was just telling my dear husband that my cravings are in full force, unfortunately they're for hard to find filipino food:

1. guso and sinugbang pork belly (this is chelo's fault for posting it)
2. larsian barbecue
3. itlog na maalat with tomatoes and cucumber
4. suman and manggo
5. puto bumbong
6. lechon! with puso! and achara!
7. spanish sardines
8. puto maya and sikwati
9. the ginger sauce in ding qua qua/harbor city
10. really cold buko pandan
11. leche flan
12. gourmet daing from bacolod, best eaten with number 3 and a plateful of bahaw =)

ahh, i can't wait for our trip!

enough of this

2009-07-08T20:33:00.003+08:00

i cannot pretend that it doesn't bother me. i cannot put on a smile and act like everything is wonderful when it's not. but i will promise you that i will stop complaining. i'm so tired of listening to my own whining.

yes i sometimes feel like i'm alone in this. sure my dear hubby is ever so supportive and helpful, and i know that if he could only siphon away all the nasty symptoms he would, just to give me a rest. every single night i pray that tomorrow will be a better day. tomorrow i will have more energy. tomorrow i will find pleasure in the world around me. tomorrow the hormones won't pull me to the depths of misery.

i should be stronger than this. stronger than my hormones. stronger than circumstances. i have willed myself to triumph over trials much more challenging than this one. it's just pregnancy hormones after all!

from now on, i hereby resolve to:

find good books to read that will lift up my spirits
call a friend for a chat whenever i feel down again
focus on one task at a time and try to keep my mind on it and not on my queasiness
take out my camera and start looking at the beauty around me
get excited about my coming trip to cebu - maybe i should focus on the lechon i will eat? =)
just grin and bear it. i'm sure it won't last forever.

hyperacidity and heartburn

2009-07-07T09:24:00.004+08:00

yesterday was absolutely the worst day i've ever experienced in my pregnancy. i don't know why i've been having hyperacidity when i'm eating constantly, but i am. and it's so extreme it renders me almost incapacitated. i can't think, i can't do anything, i just feel so miserable. i normally don't bother manuel when he's at work but yesterday i had to call him because i needed to cry out my pain.

i bought an antacid but it only made things worse. 10 minutes after taking it i was back to hugging the bowl. i don't know what else to do! i called my sister in australia and she said the only thing i can do is try to bear it. i still don't know how i was able to force myself to cook dinner and clean the house but i somehow did. i made sinigang with lots of veggies. sinigang is comfort food for me. by 8pm i was feeling better.

please let it be an isolated incident.

10 weeks and counting

2009-07-06T18:34:00.004+08:00

the first trimester is almost over. hopefully i'll start feeling better soon. i've been trying to do mind over matter but it doesn't seem to be working much. (well, at least i tried, right?)

it's almost over. it's almost over. it's almost over...

on another note, i was at the mall today and i saw a huge sale over at mango. the dress i was lusting after a few months back is now 70% off. the pale pink one with the black sash. unfortunately it'll never fit me now. talk about irony! on the other hand, another dress did fit me and it looked so nice even vito said i look so pretty. unfortunately it was way too short and displayed my not so svelte thighs. hmmm. maybe i can wear it with my skinny jeans? on second thought, these jeans won't fit me in a month's time so scrap that. oh well. at least my money is still safe in the bank. =)

i like to move it move it

2009-07-03T15:20:00.003+08:00

thanks to the fact that vito needs to be walked to school, i'm getting all the exercise i need. and i'm forced to get off my butt and out of the house every day.

what makes me happy now is the fact that this doesn't seem to be a delicate pregnancy, not like during vito's time when i had to be on bed rest all the time. (thank you Lord!) i don't know what i'd do if that was the case.

anyway, now i can still brisk-walk, and sometimes sprint a little bit (like when i'm crossing the street and the lights are about to change hehehehe) without feeling any pain. my fit flops are my best friend. they're so comfortable, i love them to bits.

the consequence? my (size 30) jeans still fit me. except for a slight tightening around the waist, they all still fit. yay! when i was pregnant with vito i was already wearing maternity clothes by this time!

sing with me now:
i like to move it move it. i like to move it move it. i like to - move it! =P

not fabulous

2009-07-02T08:55:00.003+08:00

i want to start feeling happy about this pregnancy. i really do. but my mental state right now leaves much to be desired. i'm always depressed, and the queasiness that just won't go away threatens to overwhelm any positive emotion i'm feeling. i have a short fuse nowadays, i snap at everything and everyone. poor manuel! i didn't know my husband has it in him to be patient with me after all.

the other moms at vito's school all noticed that he lost a lot of weight. it's my fault. the past weeks have been so horrible that he often went to bed at 6pm without any dinner. because i didn't have the patience to make him take a nap in the afternoon. more often than not he falls asleep in front of the tv. i'm such a bad mommy. mea culpa. mea culpa. mea maxima culpa.

i'm trying to do better, i really am. and i do try my best to ignore the way i'm feeling but how can i do it when i seem to be hugging the bowl more and more frequently? for those of you who have never been pregnant, just imagine your worst seasickness experience and imagine it coming in waves every few minutes of every single day! that's how it feels. now couple that with extreme hunger pangs. nauseous and hungry at the same time? yep, that's the first trimester for you. it's definitely not a happy feeling.

this is so not me you know. i'm a very positive person. i know i am. pollyanna has nothing on me. i'm normally all sunshine and laughter and i'd be the first to tell you to focus on the positive and change whatever you don't like and move on. kinda hard to do in this case.

the bad and good list

2009-07-01T22:19:00.010+08:00

feel free to ignore this entry. i'm just documenting the food that make me sick and those that are more tummy-friendly. every pregnancy certainly is different, i had a totally different list when i was pregnant with vito.

the good list

sandwiches
bananas
green mango
peppermint
cold soy milk
iced milk tea
ginger
cheese
cheese and crackers
oatmeal
sweet potato
baked potato
salty crackers
popcorn
chicken burger
ketchup
chocolate cookies
watermelon
kiamoy
fresh strawberries dipped in salt

the bad list

water!
anything with sauteed onions
anything with msg
chinese food
anything fried or greasy except french fries
grapes
ripe mango
pork
mcdonald's burgers except chicken
fruit juice - esp the red ones
tomato sauce
broccoli
roti prata
curry
hot chocolate
strawberry cream filling
some brands of mayonnaise
adobo
satay
congee
stir-fried chicken or veggies

and the list goes on.... and even changes some weeks. so basically there are times when i don't know what to eat.

hurrah!

2009-06-27T18:12:00.003+08:00

i've been feeling better the past few days. =) still queasy, still nauseous, but at least i don't feel like i'm DYING anymore! and no more coughing! hallelujah! i can finally sleep through the night!

it's been hard to focus on anything pleasant when i was feeling awful, so i just kept myself busy. i'm thankful to the Lord for sending orders my way. i sure felt better when i didn't have to think about how i was feeling.

this is a crazy trimester. my hormones have completely taken over my mind. i've been crying over really silly stuff, like seeing an old man cook paella on discovery travel and living; an ad about an olympic swimmer saving sharks; a girl buying pastries from a convent. my cravings are for really weird things as well, food i normally wouldn't eat like paksiw na isda, and ginger candy. why can't i crave pasta? or ice cream? or chocolate cake? you know, normal food! =)

oh, i forgot, i love sandwiches now. (that's normal at least.) been making a lot of them as they help with the queasiness. and i get to have lots of calcium because i put a lot of cheese in them. =) i esp like them grilled, like the one in the picture. got the recipe from nigella (where else?), she spikes her mayo with worcestershire sauce! it's so yummy!

time to move on

2009-06-24T16:32:00.002+08:00

i'm sure y'all have better things to do than read my food diary entries. so i won't post them anymore. it's become difficult to keep track of what i actually eat anyway, because most of the time i just spew it back out. i'm afraid to eat now. i never know what will trigger another round of barfing. sometimes starch helps, sometimes it doesn't. sometimes fruits help, sometimes they don't. i just know that i'm always really really hungry but the moment i try to eat something it comes back out again.

sigh.

i can't wait for the next trimester to start. please. please. i can't stand this anymore.

wishing

2009-06-21T18:31:00.003+08:00

i wish the queasiness would go away....
i wish my cough would get better (it's been 4 weeks)
i wish i wasn't this gassy and bloated
i wish i had lots of montaño spanish sardines on stock
i wish i wasn't gaining weight so fast

spanish sardines!!!!!!!!!!

2009-06-21T09:27:00.003+08:00

i love spanish sardines! i saw an opened bottle in the fridge and suddenly salivated. and i used to hate sardines. well, not entirely. i love spanish sardines with crackers, but not with anything else. it was the best breakfast ever. too bad i have no more montaño bottles left. =( waaaaaaah!
i want more!!!!!!!

breakfast: 5 pcs spanish sardines with 1 cup sinangag (fried rice with lots of garlic)
green tea with splenda and 1/4 c nonfat milk

no lunch, it was a heavy breakfast for me.

2pm snack: 1 slice of cheese, 1 cup unsweetened soy milk

5pm snack: 3 cups green mango, with about 1 tsp of bagoong just for the happiness it gives. hehehehe

dinner: 2 cups monggo soup with lots of malunggay and lean ground pork (manuel cooked it for me); 1/2 c pork adobo
green tea

it's a carbohydrate day

2009-06-19T20:41:00.004+08:00

i was planning to go out today. i needed to buy some stuff from the grocery. i took a bath, dressed up, and went to bed instead. =)

here's my food journal entry:

breakfast: 1 cup old fashioned rolled oatmeal with 1 tbsp wheat germ and dried cranberries and pistachios.
green tea with 1/4 c nonfat milk and splenda

lunch: 3 tbsp cooked penne, with 1/2 c fresh mushrooms, 1 tbsp chopped ham, sautéed in olive oil, sprinkled with parmesan cheese and juice of 1/4 a lemon
dessert: 4 pcs cheese sandwich crackers. yum! took away my queasiness.

mid-afternoon snack: 1 cup blueberries, 1/2 c gouda cheese cubes, 1/2 c raw walnuts

dinner: 1/2 c rice, 1 cup beef stew (low fat beef chunks, carrots, yellow capsicum, mushrooms, lima beans, olives, capers in tomato sauce) --- i picked the ingredients for the most nutrients i can get.

i notice that carbohydrates seem to make me feel a little better. hmmmm.

no exercise for me today. i cleaned the house instead.

take a hike

2009-06-18T22:34:00.003+08:00

well, that's what i just did. i brisk-walked for 30 minutes after dinner. the breeze was cool, the park was quiet, and i felt much better. =)

perhaps tonight i can sleep uninterrupted.

day 2

2009-06-18T21:01:00.005+08:00

not so good.

i felt worse today. low energy levels and major queasiness. little bit of stomach cramps.
i kept eating.

breakfast: 2-egg omelet with fresh mushrooms and cheddar
green tea with 1/4 c nonfat milk

mid morning snack: 3 tbsp rice with 2 slices luncheon meat (i ate vito's leftovers)

lunch: 1 square tofu, fried, with peanuts, in honey garlic sauce (very little)
1 c high calcium unsweetened soy milk

mid afternoon snack: 1/2 kiwi fruit
1 sandwich (high fibre bread with 1 tsp mayo, 5 pcs lettuce leaves, luncheon meat)
green tea with 1/4 c nonfat milk

dinner: 1 zinger (manuel remembered how i craved zinger when i was pregnant with vito so he ordered some. so sweet of him.)
1 cup cole slaw with very little mayo

i feel so full i want to barf. i'm not used to eating a whole sandwich anymore.
i'll do better tomorrow.

food diary day 1

2009-06-18T08:36:00.007+08:00

(well, day 1 after i found out anyway)

breakfast:
2-egg omelet with broccoli, fresh mushrooms, basil, and cheddar cheese. cooked in butter substitute made with olive oil.
green tea with 1/4 c soy milk, splenda

mid-day snack: frozen nonfat strawberry yoghurt with kiwi bits

mid-afternoon snack: 1/2 really big green mango
1/2 c bite-sized crackers

dinner: chicken and mango salad with honey mustard dressing

after-dinner: 1 cup unsweetened soy milk

*no lunch, i wasn't hungry

baby, let's move

2009-06-18T08:29:00.002+08:00

it's important to stay fit when you're pregnant, so i'm keeping my walking regimen. i walk at least 30 minutes a day, now that vito is still on school break. when school starts in two weeks i'll be back to my one hour a day dose of brisk walking.

can i still do wii boxing? hmm, i'm not sure yet. i haven't had the energy to do it anyway as i'm always feeling lazy. maybe i can try it 3x a week.

should i follow this?

2009-06-17T08:35:00.003+08:00

i got this from pregnancy period.com

When you’re pregnant, everything you do either contributes to you and your baby’s health or is a missed opportunity to have done something positive for both of you. You can make a big difference in your health and in your baby's health, just by choosing the right foods for a healthy pregnancy diet.

Your healthy pregnancy diet should include up to four servings of dairy products each day. Dairy is an important source of calcium and Vitamin D. You can choose from milk or yogurt – even cheese can count as a dairy serving as well. If you’re lactose intolerant or are an active vegan, soy options exist that can replace dairy products.

Every day, you should have one to two servings of lean protein, which includes foods like chicken, beef, pork, lamb, fish and seafood. Do be aware, however, that some forms of seafood – particularly fish that may contain mercury and sushi – aren’t safe during pregnancy. If you’re a vegetarian, you can choose beans and cheese to fulfill your dietary requirements. However, if you’re choosing cheese as a protein source, it can’t also count as a dairy serving – one serving of food can only fulfill one requirement, not two. Aim for a total daily protein intake of around 80 grams, counting the protein in all the foods you consume.

One or two servings of fresh green leafy vegetables should also be included every day. Vegetables like lettuce, cabbage, spinach, kale, mustard greens, turnip greens and collard greens all fit into this category.

You should also include five servings of whole grains each day. Whole grain products not only provide a number of vitamins and minerals, they’re also a good source of fiber. Pregnant women have a tendency to be constipated, and whole grains can be a big help with this. Whole wheat bread is a good choice – just make sure the first ingredient on the label reads “100% whole wheat,” and not “enriched wheat,” which isn’t actually a whole grain. Whole grain cereals like oatmeal are also a good choice, as is granola, as long as it doesn’t include trans fats.

Each day, you should include at least one serving of fruit that’s rich in Vitamin C in your diet. This could be an orange or grapefruit, or a serving of tomato. This can be in juice form, although the whole fruit is preferable, as you’ll get more fiber and nutrients this way.

You should also try to include two eggs in your diet every day. Eggs are an excellent source of protein and contain many vitamins and minerals that benefit your body, including a healthy form of cholesterol that will help your baby's brain develop.

Healthy fats are another important dietary element during pregnancy. Nut oils, olive oil, or avocados are good choices. Avoid trans fats and aim for three servings of healthy fat each day.

Five times each week, add a yellow or orange colored fruit or vegetable to your diet. This includes carrots, squash and yellow bell peppers. These foods are a good source of beta carotene, from which the body manufacturers vitamin A.

Finally, try to include a whole baked potato in your diet three times a week. Baked potatoes are a good source of easily digestible iron, a nutrient that women need more of throughout their pregnancies.

In addition to these guidelines, you should also remain hydrated, drinking plenty of water and other liquids as needed. Unless your doctor has specifically instructed you to do so, salt your foot to taste. This helps your blood volume increase in a safe way.

what now?

2009-06-16T16:13:00.001+08:00

i never expected i'd be pregnant. i was in denial for the last couple of weeks, telling myself that my period was just delayed because i've been under a lot of stress lately. i still don't know how to react. a part of me is really excited (and wishing it's a baby girl), but i'm also largely apprehensive about the whole thing. i'm turning 38 this year! it'll be a high-risk pregnancy for sure. and what about all the weight i lost? i don't know whether to laugh or cry. =)

but i hereby resolve to watch my weight so that i don't balloon to 95kg again. i will still eat carefully, picking only the healthiest food, and i will take my vitamins and supplements (which i have yet to buy). and if the doctor allows me, i will continue my workout.

uhm

2009-06-12T21:10:00.005+08:00

i haven't been feeling like myself lately. just the thought of exercise leaves me exhausted. i have no desire to go out of the house. the effort of dressing up is too much to even consider.

maybe i'm just hormonal. i don't know.

we went to a pool party yesterday and i spent more time reading in a corner. maybe it's just one of those phases.

p.s. the photo isn't mine, i grabbed this somewhere i don't even remember. my apologies to the photographer.

whenever i need more motivation ---

2009-06-09T08:42:00.005+08:00

here's the secret way i've been motivating myself every now and then - i buy a new pair of jeans that are a little too small for me. every week, i try it on until i reach the right size. =D

my latest acquisition is a pair of denim low-waist capris. when i bought the pair, i couldn't lift it past my thighs, let alone past my hips. now, thanks in part to my fitflops i suppose, i can now close the zipper and the buttons. and yes, i can wear them without suffering some blood vessel constriction or something. hahahahaha.

i'm loving how my bum looks from the side now, it's much higher, tighter, and there's less sagging at the bottom. i just need to work on the cellulite in my thighs a bit more and i'm ready for that mini-skirt! =)

tell me this isn't happening

2009-06-05T16:03:00.002+08:00

so i've been exercising, and eating healthy, in fact i went back to phase one for a couple of days.
so why did i just gain 5kg in 4 days?????

in what parallel universe does that even make any sense?!

and i'm sure it's not just my weighing scale because i do feel heavier! and my waistbands are a bit tighter today! is this just pms? because that's a serious case of bloating if there ever was one!

this is so not fair!

weight loss = happiness?

2009-06-03T23:18:00.002+08:00

so i've been thinking a lot about this lately. will i really be happier when i achieve my goal weight?

it's easy to say i'll be happy when (i lose x amount of weight, get a new job, have a million dollars, get a new haircut, etc); but we all know happiness doesn't reside in superficial things.

the fact that i am already happy about my current state says a lot, i suppose. and it also confuses me. so i'm not trying to lose weight to be happy. i'm trying to lose weight so i'll look good in nice clothes (primarily), and not feel like an elephant lumbering among gazelles when i walk around this country of thin people.

do i like my current size? actually i do. i can already fit into local brands, i can wear some stuff i've never been able to wear before, and i feel lighter, and so much healthier. am i still overweight? you bet i am. 30 lbs over my ideal weight, in fact. so yes, i still need to exert more effort. much as i love to pretend that i can now eat ice cream and cake, i know that i can't, and i musn't.

i still have a long way to go. i hope i still have the willpower.

the two most feared words in the english language -

2009-05-30T22:24:00.004+08:00

pool party!!!!!!

i was invited to a pool party next week. gulp. suddenly the pressure to lose 5kg wasn't enough.

now i have to look tolerable in a swimsuit. heaven help me!

suddenly i'm wishing my period would come.

*insert wail here*

not unreachable after all

2009-05-29T08:55:00.002+08:00

so the 5kg weight loss isn't as tough as i thought it would be. i've already lost 3 kg so far, so i only have 2 more to go. i've been keeping fit by doing wii boxing regularly, on top of my daily brisk walking. and i've been a good girl (so far) with my diet.

whew!

shhhhh

2009-05-26T20:55:00.001+08:00

we're going to cebu in july!!!! for two weeks! i can't wait!!! =D my parents don't know yet. hehehe. i don't know if i should surprise them as they're really busy and might be out of town if i don't let them know. =D

Wii sports

2009-05-24T20:13:00.001+08:00

you don't really need to buy the Wii fit to get a workout. try the boxing and the tennis games, i swear you'll get all the workout you need!

not so little white lie

2009-05-24T20:05:00.004+08:00

we were filling out our application form for hospitalization insurance last week, and of course we came to the box that asks for my weight.

i lied.

i put in a figure that was 5 kg less than my current weight. so now i'm pressured to reach that fictional figure in two weeks' time, when we'll have to go for a medical screening.

hahahahah! i knew it was going to bite me in the *ss!

summer dresses

2009-05-19T10:15:00.002+08:00

i long to wear summer dresses!

but my arms are still not sleeveless-worthy! waaaaaaaaah!

the verdict

2009-05-18T20:38:00.003+08:00

there's been a lot of hype over fitflops. but a good friend told me all the claims were for real. that's why i bought myself a pair. after using them for over a week now, i can really say that they work. without a doubt.

i measured myself today and i was amazed, i lost an inch around my hips, and 1/2 inch on each of my thighs. in just one week. my bum feels tighter, and my calves are more shapely. and i haven't been serious about my diet at all. at least, not in the past two weeks.

but the best thing about them is they are supremely comfortable. i was on my feet for 5 straight hours and my feet didn't hurt at all. (just my bum and the back of my thighs though) i don't ever want to take them off!

the flip flop with the gym built in

2009-05-10T10:48:00.002+08:00

i love my fit flops! i bought a pair for myself for mothers' day and i don't want to take it off! they're so comfortable, provides good arch support, and forces my feet to have proper alignment when i walk. plus, i feel my butt getting tighter each step i make, not to mention the back of my thighs and my calves.

here's something i found at youtube:

and here are a list of reasons why millions of other people are now wearing fitflops:

1. FitFlop midsoles incorporate patent-pending micro-wobbleboardTM technology, to give you a workout while you walk. Developed by Darren James and Dr David Cook at LSBU, the FitFlop's unique safely -tapered midsole places varying densities of EVA under your feet each time you step, to challenge the support and balance muscles of the foot and leg.

2. They challenge hard to reach muscles more. FitFlops are engineered with a multi-density midsole that stimulates your muscles more while you're wearing them. In independent University testing, FitFlops have been shown to trigger increase gluteal muscle response, increased hamstring response, increase rectus femoris (thigh) response and increased calf muscle response .

3. Every step you take in your FitFlops helps tone and trim your legs: Studies at Salford University by Dr. Philip Graham-Smith and Richard Jones have shown that the FitFlop midsole extends the amount of time that the slow twitch* muscles are engaged during each step (by approximately 10-12%). So just by wearing a pair of FitFlops you'll get more exercise while doing just exactly what you're normally doing. (*slow twitch muscles produce energy by converting fats into energy aerobically)

4. FitFlops work your bum muscles more. FitFlops have been clinically proven to increase the amount of time that the gluteus maximus muscle is 'activated' during every single step.

5. FitFlops have been shown to have a significant effect on the toning muscles of your thighs: The rectus femoris muscle (one of the large muscles in the group of muscles in your thigh) is activated for a longer period of time while walking in FitFlops than while normally shod or barefoot .

6. Walking in FitFlops is like walking barefoot, but a little bit better. According to a study done at the University of Salford in Manchester, UK, the FitFlop wearer's gait is very similar to that of a barefoot walker, but the added cushion provided by the EVA midsole helps reduce joint strain and absorb shock. In fact, several FitFlop wearers have already reported relief from back pain after a few days of wearing them.

7. FitFlops make it easier to stay in shape. Just throw them on while you're running errands, walking to work, or working around your house. Most first-time FitFlop wearers report feeling their muscles working more, while 'fitter' wearers feedback has been more toward great comfort and cushion. One woman reported feeling like she'd had a 'bum-blasting' workout after a half an hour of FitFlop-shod walking.

since i walk everyday for about an hour, i can't wait to see the results in a few months' time!

crazy mind set

2009-05-07T09:50:00.003+08:00

maybe i should stop listening to people who tell me how much weight i lost. it seems that every time i hear that, or every time i see how some of my new clothes have gotten looser, i start eating bad carbs again. you know how it is, you start to be complacent and before you know it, you're on a yo-yo again. i don't want that to happen.

while i do love the size i'm in right now (hey, i can fit into local xl sizes, and that's a huge deal for me because xl here is size 10), i do need to lose quite a bit more weight. i initially set out to be a size 10 and i succeeded. but that's not my ideal size, i should be 6 or 8. well, 6 on top and 8 around the hips (i got the alixes' wide hips). so i shouldn't be taking it easy, not one bit.

just a reminder to myself.

aaaargh!

2009-05-07T09:47:00.001+08:00

kare-kare + rice + apple pie + chocolate mousse + pandan cake + donuts = 5 lbs weight gain

i could kick myself

exhausted

2009-04-27T09:48:00.003+08:00

we walked 7 kms yesterday. in the rain. and i was wearing 4" wedge platform sandals. i think i deserve an award.

we were invited to witness a beach baptism and couldn't get a ride home, so we decided to walk the whole length of the beach. and then of course it had to rain hard, but that didn't deter my boys from continuing as they found it FUN. good thing i had my umbrella because no way was i getting soaked when i was wearing a white linen blouse.

about halfway to our place we found an outdoor eating area that had huge umbrellas so we stopped by to eat and wait out the rain. i changed my little boy's shirt so he wouldn't catch a cold. and then we trudged on again. the little boy was asleep an hour after we arrived home, woke up at 7 this morning. didn't think my little trooper would be able to last that long on his legs, but he did.

this is so not me

2009-04-20T13:24:00.002+08:00

but i'm learning to adapt.

this is how i look most days when i bring vito to school. jeans, tshirt, rubber shoes. who would have thought? =)

oh, and notice the transformers shirt? i bought that at the boys teens' section. it's a hit with vito and his friends. hahahaha! apparently i can be a cool mama too. =D

the fasciitis thing

2009-04-16T09:03:00.002+08:00

update:
my plantar fasciitis seems to be going away. and it's all because of this pair of shoes. not the running shoes i recently bought, but this old pair of nike ballerina-style walking shoes. or are they dancing shoes? i don't really know. =)

but they're so comfy and they kinda force me to walk properly, i don't know why. and really, i don't much care as long as it works! =) too bad it's not weather-proof, so i can only wear them when it's sunny.

but i love that they go well with casual skirts, capris, and even regular jeans.

a great bargain

2009-04-16T08:57:00.004+08:00

Anyone who has even flirted with the idea of starting a low-carbohydrate diet knows that most dieters eventually abandon such lifestyles due to the boredom that results from the elimination of certain core foods. (Under the South Beach plan, bread, pasta and rice are prohibited in the initial stage and then reintroduced in limited portions in stages two and three). In The South Beach Diet Cookbook, Dr. Agatston tackles the problem by presenting a wide range of recipes that are not only within the Plan’s guidelines but are delicious, satisfying, and simple to prepare.

What makes this recipe book (and probably the South Beach diet itself) so appealing is that it uses ingredients that are readily available and can be easily incorporated in a dieter’s daily routine. In addition, while some diet cookbooks provide extensive information relating to which foods should be avoided and why, this cookbook centers around permissible food choices. This directs the focus of South Beach dieters away from what is not allowed and towards the wide range of satisfying ingredients that are consistent with the plan. This tactic minimizes the feelings of boredom and deprivation often associated with Dr. Agatston’s diet.

Would you believe I got this book for less than S$5? I can never resist a sale sign, much less one found right outside a bookstore! I am so happy to have found this at that price, because you know how expensive hard bound books are, especially good cookbooks! The photographs are fantastic, and the instructions are really easy.

After a brief introductory material, the book delves into traditional categories of recipes such as breakfast, appetizers, soups, salads, side dishes, fish and poultry, meats, vegetarian entrees and desserts. Each recipe is labeled as being appropriate for Phase One, Two or Three of the South Beach plan. The recipes offer a host of flavors and food choices, and the instructions are clear and concise even as they span difficulty levels. Recipes top chefs prepare in some of the finest restaurants are also scattered throughout the book, reinforcing the non-restrictive nature of the diet.

still alive

2009-04-15T18:50:00.002+08:00

hello everyone! i know i haven't been blogging a lot for a looooong time, but things have been crazy busy around here. i have no time to gather my thoughts and write them down in a way that would make sense.

my weight has been steady, neither going up or going down. i blame the binignit i made on maundy thursday, a huge stockpot of it which took us 4 days to finish. plus countless other "sins". it's a wonder i haven't been gaining weight actually.

i had some skin problems last month, necessitating a lot of photoshop-ing in the photos i posted in my multiply site. =) talk about breakouts! a gigantic pimple erupted on the tip of my nose and no amount of acne medication could take it out. and it left a scar. grrrrrr.

how have you been? anyone losing weight yet? =)

fashion and people watching

2009-03-26T19:37:00.003+08:00

(warning, this blog has no point whatsoever. i don't have time for soul-searching nowadays.)

every morning as she brings her daughter to school, i get a glimpse of what a woman who has it all looks like. she's tall, svelte, wealthy, pretty, and dresses well. (ok so maybe she has her own share of sorrows too, everyone does.) she's always in designer clothes, with bags and shoes the brands of which i know i will never be able to afford in my lifetime.

i don't know her name. her daughter goes to kindergarten, that's all i know. =) but i love to watch her, i love taking note of what she's wearing. it's like fashion watch only more pathetic. hahahaha!

anyway, today she had on a spectacular outfit. her dress was in the palest ivory, with delicate black floral print, a fitted bodice, sleeveless, softly-pleated skirt, with a black sash around her impossibly small waist. i love that she paired the dress with classic pumps in a perfect shade of nude. just like the ones the march issue of vogue says we should all be wearing because it elongates the heels.

i say, hurray for the return of the nude heel! i've always been a scaredy-cat when it comes to shoes. i opt for classic styles and colors, afraid to experiment (although some red and purple have been known to creep into my shoe cabinet once in a while). but this is a classic that i really missed. not that i need one. i just remembered how good they look when i saw the pair she was wearing today. shouldn't have given my old pair away. huhuhu.

* made a quick sketch of her outfit in my little notebook. sorry, i didn't have time to make it look nicer.

grass are for goats

2009-03-19T17:52:00.002+08:00

i can't believe the day would come when not only will i be eating grass, i'd be growing them too!
one of the take home packs my little boy got out of their field trip to the hydroponics farm was a grow your own wheatgrass set. curious, i followed the instructions and voila! a few days later, i had a healthy growth of wheatgrass!

what to do with it? i asked myself. i know wheatgrass is really healthy. 15 g of wheatgrass is equal in overal nutritional value to 350g of vegetables. it contains 70% crude chlorophyll, which resembles haemoglobin and therefore the body is able to easily utilize it to oxygenate, energise, and heal. it improves skin and hair, fights infection, lowers blood pressure, suppresses appetite (!), increases haemoglobin production (which i need because i'm anaemic), and purifies the liver and kidney. whew! so much from a small clump of grass.

anyway, i heard you're supposed to turn it into juice with cucumbers, celery, and other stuff but since i had none of those, i just ate them. yes, i ate the grass like a goat. and you know how it tasted? like fresh green guava.

i'm planting more of them tomorrow.

some days

2009-03-19T17:47:00.003+08:00

some days i like to prettify myself and wear seriously nice outfits even when i'm just staying home.

some days i don't feel like doing anything or even trying to look good.

some days i feel like experimenting and don outfits that i wouldn't dream of wearing outside.

this is one such day. =)

i wore a coral pink tank top, with spring green capris =) instant pick me up!

reasons to hope

2009-03-17T13:07:00.002+08:00

it's probably good that i'm not rich. (oh wait till my hubby reads this.) money, it seems to me, sends people in one of three directions: it accelerates an innate inclination to be generous; or it accelerates a kamikaze inclination to party with paris hilton; or it sucks away your sense of purpose and produces a desperate need to eat nothing but cheetos while staring blankly at an endless cycle of friends reruns.

i'd like to think that if i were rich, i'd be the kind of person who looks at the world and decides to fund cancer research and build schools and feed the hungry, and save whoever needs saving, but there's an excellent chance i'd be the kind of person who looks at the world and decides never to get out of bed again. in fact, staying in bed with cheetos and a tub of gelato isn't such a bad idea right now. if only i didn't have to do chores. sigh.

let's face it, it's not pretty out there. the economy of the entire world is in shambles and the world as we know it is threatening to collapse. global warming is accelerating at an alarming pace. and madonna still looks great. people no longer work like dogs to get ahead, they work like dogs just to stay where they are. some days i need to give myself a few good reasons to put on some lipstick and venture out (or at least get out of bed).

so here's my list:

there are still flowers all around us, and they like to be photographed. they preen and pose and don't complain when we turn them this way and that or look at them from behind.
javier bardem and gerard butler. swoon!
friends, near or far, all deeply adorable, all wonderful people who make the world a happier place, who are interested and interesting, who are quietly unequivocally there for you, offering sweet salvation and good gossip.
our friday breakfast at the hawker center at jago close is something i always look forward to. roti prata and milk tea! yum!
who needs money? window shopping and planning outfits for nonexistent occasions is really fun! you can pretend to be a model or a fabulously rich socialite at a trunk show. next time i'm bringing my camera so i can snap photos of my favorites. =)
bacon ice cream - seriously! check out davidlebovitz.com for the recipe. the first step involves candying the bacon! let's all take a moment of hushed reverence to contemplate this epicurian wonder. i firmly believe what chicken soup does for the common cold, bacon ice cream will one day do for the pms-ing woman. i bet it'll go well with cheetos.
there's a reason why they printed cookbooks. it's so you can close your eyes and randomly open a page if you can't decide what to cook for dinner. thank you nigella! thank you jamie! thank you ina!
life will never be boring if you rearrange your furniture ever so often. i do it every time i'm premenstrual. little improvements count for a lot. and it's a great way to make sure corners don't gather dust.
today i watched my son organize his dinosaurs in two sets: herbivores and carnivores. more proof that he got great genes from me.

i could think of more, but those are enough for me. it's possible that gerard butler, bacon ice cream, and cooking good food will not change the hard truth that plans frequently fail and dreams have been known to dim. but at the end of the day, when my hubby kisses me goodnight and holds me tightly, everything feels right with the world again.

food stall favorite

2009-03-12T09:19:00.002+08:00

the yong tau fu stall at raffles city food court

i wish i could have this chilled stall in my kitchen
so i can just pick out the veggies i like
then have them cooked by someone else

the one thing i hate about cooking vegetables is the amount of preparation involved.
you know what i mean --- all the slicing and peeling and dicing.

spring fashion

2009-03-12T09:13:00.003+08:00

the mango display window
at our neighborhood mall

see that pale silk dress on the left?
i've been dreaming about it since i saw it.
i love the perfectly blush hue paired with a black sash. i love the silky softness of the fabric.
i love the utterly feminine, ultra romantic style!

sadly, i have neither the funds nor the figure for that dream of a dress.

i mean, can you imagine how my humungous behind
will look under that silk?
ugh!

(ok, maybe i'm sourgraping. but just a little.)

long ago and far away

2009-03-09T20:36:00.003+08:00

me in 2003

i keep coming back to that year, the year i loved my figure.
yes, this is my target, and i want to reach this by the end of this year, if not sooner.

how far am i from that weight? oh, about 30 lbs.
how much weight have i lost to date? 45 lbs.

but it varies, depending on whether i indulge myself for the week. sometimes i gain back a few, and then i lose them again when i get back to being a good girl.
i'm already comfortable with my current weight, but i know i'm still overweight.
(at least i'm not morbidly obese anymore.)

just a reality check.

short stuff

2009-03-04T15:21:00.002+08:00

so i went out for a short walk in my shorts yesterday. *big grin*

it was the first time i ever dared to show my legs in a looooooong time.

i walked home with a skip in my step because no one stared in horror or disgust. not a single one.

hahahahahaha! (it takes so little to make me happy!)

another wake up call

2009-02-25T17:55:00.003+08:00

Simply being overweight, but not obese, from an early age boosts the risk of premature death by a third -- as much as smoking up to 10 cigarettes a day, researchers in Sweden recently reported.

A BMI of 25-to-30 indicates being overweight, while above 30 means one is obese. The range of normal weight is 18.5-to-24.9. The study also found that being severely underweight -- a BMI of under 17 -- carried about the same risk of early death as being overweight or a light smoker.

So yes, you can also be too thin.

you may read the full article here

comfy shoes

2009-02-22T22:33:00.002+08:00

these are old shoes, i've had them since vito was a baby and haven't worn them since. they're just not my style. i'm more of a wedge/loafers/stilletos kind of woman. they're the only ones that match my outfits anyway.

but since my plantar fasciitis started, i've had to compromise on style and go for comfort. these are my only pair of shoes that actually help. the crocs don't help, the flipflops don't either. and ballerina flats actually make it worse. while the stilletos ease up the pressure on my heels, i can't very well go brisk-walking in them, can i? :-S

anyway, the good news is i finally bought myself a pair of athletic shoes. gulp! yes, i raided the sale racks at the sporting good store and found myself a pair of reeboks. i have no idea what model or whatever it is, i just know it's for running. that's good enough for me. and it's a pretty shade of soft blue that will go well with my jeans. i'll just condition myself to think that i'm going to my workout so i don't get hives out of seeing myself in athletic wear when i go bring vito to school. you must think i'm crazy, don't you? oh, go ahead, say it.

feeling lighter

2009-02-22T22:29:00.003+08:00

nope, not me, my hair! =)

it's now a bob. the heat has been getting to me, so i decided to have it cut above shoulder length. what do you think? manuel says it makes me look younger. =D i'm inclined to agree. but then again, i agree with every good thing said about me. hahahahaha!

oh my aching heel

2009-02-17T21:35:00.003+08:00

my right heel has been aching quite a bit the past few weeks. it's becoming too painful to walk, which is a bummer since that's the best exercise i can ever get. and it's not like i have a choice not to, because otherwise, how will my son get to school? dang.

anyway, i researched my symptoms and found out that i have plantar fasciitis.

from webmd:

What is plantar fasciitis?

Plantar fasciitis (say "PLAN-ter fash-ee-EYE-tus") is the most common cause of heel pain. The plantar fascia is the flat band of tissue (ligament) that connects your heel bone to your toes. It supports the arch of your foot. If you strain your plantar fascia, it gets weak, swollen, and irritated (inflamed). Then your heel or the bottom of your foot hurts when you stand or walk.

Plantar fasciitis is common in middle-aged people. It also occurs in younger people who are on their feet a lot, like athletes or soldiers. It can happen in one foot or both feet.

What causes plantar fasciitis?

Plantar fasciitis is caused by straining the ligament that supports your arch. Repeated strain can cause tiny tears in the ligament. These can lead to pain and swelling. This is more likely to happen if:

Your feet roll inward too much when you walk (excessive pronation ). err, what?
You have high arches or flat feet. - i do have high arches
You walk, stand, or run for long periods of time, especially on hard surfaces. - as i said, unavoidable.
You are overweight.- ouch, that too. although when i was 200 lbs i didn't get this. so why would i develop plantar fasciitis now that i'm 160 lbs? doesn't make sense.
You wear shoes that don't fit well or are worn out. - all my shoes fit well, they're just not too comfortable. but i can go walking at the mall for hours in them and my feet don't hurt! it's only when i walk fast.
You have tight Achilles tendons or calf muscles. - i have no idea if i do.

What are the symptoms?

Most people with plantar fasciitis have pain when they take their first steps after they get out of bed or sit for a long time. true You may have less stiffness and pain after you take a few steps, but your foot may hurt more as the day goes on. also true It may hurt the most when you climb stairs or after you stand for a long time.

How is it treated?

No single treatment works best for everyone with plantar fasciitis. But there are many things you can try to help your foot get better:

Give your feet a rest. Cut back on activities that make your foot hurt. Try not to walk or run on hard surfaces. uh, yeah right. i live in the city not the countryside, and there's no way i can cut back on walking.
To reduce pain and swelling, try putting ice on your heel. tried it, didn't work Or take an over-the-counter pain reliever like ibuprofen (such as Advil or Motrin), naproxen (such as Aleve), or aspirin.
Do calf stretches and towel stretches several times a day, especially when you first get up in the morning. this one actually works
Get a new pair of shoes. wow! i love this treatment! Pick shoes with good arch support and a cushioned sole. Or try heel cups or shoe inserts (orthotics ). Use them in both shoes, even if only one foot hurts.

snacking

2009-02-13T15:14:00.003+08:00

i love to snack. i love munching on crunchy things all the time. actually, i love snacks even more than regular meals. =)

lately i've been addicted to this --- apple slices, baked walnuts, and sharp cheddar. yum! i love the combination of tastes, textures, and flavors. and because you have to exert a bit of effort to prepare it, you won't find yourself eating more than what's on your plate.

it sure beats eating a bag of chips. =D

rumbly in my tumbly

2009-02-13T15:06:00.002+08:00

i don't know what i ate or drank friday last week, but i woke up saturday with intense stomach cramps and had to make several trips to the bathroom (i stopped counting after the 7th time). i made sure i rehydrated often, but i still felt weak and dizzy. it wasn't until monday when i started feeling better and my tummy stopped its rumbling.

you would think that i'd be losing weight because of it, but no. the doctor recommended i go on a BRAT diet, you know, bananas, rice, apples, toast --- all carbs! three days on it and my cravings were back in full force. so instead of losing weight, i gained some.

*sigh*

i'm just glad i'm better now and i can go back to eating healthy again. oh no wait, i'm hosting a party tonight for my little boy and there is not a single healthy item on the menu. oh well. tomorrow then.

thanks mai!

2009-02-05T21:11:00.002+08:00

i super duper love this portrait!
it's amazing how much malou has improved on her craft, isn't it?
i love her use of available light, the soft focus, everything!
she made me look fabulous

i wish i could print this and have it framed

=)

like mother like daughter

2009-02-05T20:55:00.004+08:00

i am so proud of my mom. she went on the south beach diet a few months ago, after i had told her how astonishing the results were. she's diabetic, so she has a greater motivation to lose weight than i do.

so far, she has lost 15 lbs, her blood sugar is stabilizing, and her insulin dependence has gone down. she used to inject herself twice a day with a high dose of insulin. now she only injects herself once, at half the dose of her usual. and she's looking really good! to think she's not even following the diet as religiously as i have.

i know i have a high risk for diabetes -- i have the genes on both sides of the family. i'm hoping that with this change in lifestyle, i'll get to avoid developing the disease for a few more decades yet. my mom's improvement gives me hope that maybe i can.

victorious

2009-02-04T20:20:00.006+08:00

photo taken by malu. grabbed from her site

i'm feeling quite victorious after coming back from the trip. =) i stuck to my diet (although i did cheat a few times) and i didn't gain a single pound.

it was quite a hectic holiday, my days were filled with errands, and i scheduled the fun parts (meeting friends) for lunch and dinner. what a challenge it was not to let loose my appetite! but invitation after invitation, i mentioned that i wanted to go wherever they served salads. everyone was supportive and i only cheated a few times (i had a crepe at rica's, ate a slice of vito's birthday cake, and had a few teacakes at lily's farm) but i paid dearly for each slip. i guess my stomach cannot handle sugar and starch anymore. hooray for my tummy! =)

oh, and speaking of tummies, i had the best news ever when my favorite seamstress took my measurements last week --- my waistline is now only 29 inches. it's the first time in 4 and a half years that it has gone below 30 and i'm super duper happy! i actually couldn't believe it! (apparently some of my friends couldn't either because when i announced it to one of my groups, someone actually said, are you sure that's only 29 inches? hahahaha. i don't care if you don't believe me, i have proof from a neutral observer and it's documented. HA!)

the real test

2009-01-25T17:39:00.003+08:00

for me, at least, wasn't the holidays.... it's being in cebu!

let's see how much self control i can muster during my week-long stay. =)

i'm already dreaming about ding qua qua's dimsum, the carrot cake and chocolate surprise at leona's, the binagoongang baboy at chikaan, the puto bumbong at cafe laguna, mussels & co. at gustavian, the siopao of white gold house, the sans rival of my tita aileen, my cousin's brazo de mercedes, and at the top of my list, mommy's paella, chicken pie, apple pie, pot roast, pasta, rosemary chicken.......... aaaargh!

jeans

2009-01-20T14:20:00.004+08:00

obviously, this isn't me. i just grabbed this from flickr

last december i bought a pair of size 32 jeans. they were a little snug around the hips but i knew i'd be losing more weight so i didn't mind. i was happy i could at least close the button and the zipper without any effort.

after two weeks of my new walking regimen, the jeans are now hanging loose around my hips and my thighs, and i need a belt to keep the waist up. glory be and hallelujah!!!!

if only i can walk with my arms too! hahahahaha!

the dress

2009-01-19T21:34:00.002+08:00

i love how the collar frames the face

with my friend micmic

it's amazing how a beautiful dress gives you a boost of confidence. like an armor you put on that makes you invincible. this is the dress i was talking about, the fabulous find. i've been dreaming about a dress like this for the longest time! i'm no ice princess, but i do love the look. and it's fun to play a role once in a while. =)

i just hope i don't look like a walking sofa. =D it might not be the most flattering cut for me, but wearing it made me feel fabulous.

walk away

2009-01-13T10:53:00.003+08:00

i love my new walking regimen!!!

1 hour of walking 5x a week is doing wonders for my legs! not to mention helping me in my weight loss! i hope this cool weather continues so it doesn't become too hot.

gosh, i can't wait to see how my legs will look at the end of the year. mini skirts beware! hahaha!
ambitious! =P

fabulous find

2009-01-13T10:48:00.004+08:00

i found the perfect dress at half price last weekend. it's a dress i've been dreaming of having for the longest time! it's like a coat dress, with a huge collar, belted, with a fantastic black foliage pattern against a light brown background. kinda like the black dress meryl streep wore at the paris party in the devil wears prada. it's so gorgeous!!! so elegant!!! i can't wait to wear it to church this sunday! =D

who knew i could be so happy over a dress? =) i even dreamt about it twice already! hahahahah!

it's so nice to finally fit into the nice brands!!!!!

the numbers that count

2009-01-08T08:52:00.003+08:00

got this from oprah.com and i wanted to share it with you.

Dr. Oz's 9 Numbers That Count

Resolutions are like teenage hearts: They get broken an awful lot. So this year, let's make a pact.
No more false promises, no more extreme measures, and no more white flags being raised on January 3.

Here are nine key numbers you can easily tweak to make a huge difference in your overall health. You'll see that resolutions work much better when you take off the "re."

1) Blood Pressure: 115/75

Hypertension is a cunning thief; left unchallenged, it can steal a decade of quality life. The average American's blood pressure in middle age is about 130/80, but since the average American dies of heart disease, that number isn't good enough. Instead, aim for 115/75.
Measure your blood pressure monthly at the same time of day with a home monitor or one at a local drugstore.

To lower blood pressure: Exercise hard enough to sweat for at least an hour each week. If you're used to 30-minute workouts, this means you'll need to do three, since it takes at least 10 minutes to start sweating.

2) Resting Heart Rate: 83

Before you get out of bed to commune with the coffeemaker, take your pulse: Put two fingertips on your wrist or carotid artery (in your neck under your jaw) and count the beats per minute. This is your resting heart rate. Anything higher than 83 means you're at increased risk for a heart attack.

Solution:

To slow your resting heart rate: The key, ironically, is to make your heart beat faster for an hour
per week (to calculate your ideal number of beats per minute while exercising, subtract your age from 220, then multiply the result by 0.8). So, just as you'll be doing for healthy blood pressure, simply work up a good sweat

3) Cholesterol: 2 to 1

When it comes to cholesterol, the total level isn't as predictive of heart disease as what's known as the ratio. To explain, cholesterol is carried in the blood by two different lipoproteins:
The bad one, LDL (think L for lousy), spews the waxy, fat-like substance in your arteries, gunking them up; the good one, HDL (H for healthy), gathers up cholesterol so it can't clog.
If you have some risk for heart disease (family history, high blood pressure, diabetes, smoking), keep your LDL under 100. Otherwise you're okay aiming for under 160; better yet, below 130. Ideally, your HDL should be more than 50. Doctors love it when the ratio of LDL to HDL is less than 2 to 1; they're tolerant if it's 3 to 1.

Solution:

To improve your ratio: Include soluble fiber in your diet from sources such as oatmeal, kidney beans, and apples, aiming for 25 grams a day. To spice things up, try a whole grain called quinoa. It contains a nearly perfect balance of proteins, as well as the mineral manganese—low levels of which are associated with hypertension.

4) Omega-6s to Omega-3s: 4 to 1

Omega-6s and omega-3s are called essential fatty acids for a reason: Their work includes building cell membranes and nerve insulation. But since the body doesn't produce these fats, you must get them from your diet—and the balance makes all the difference. American drive-through cuisine includes huge amounts of omega-6s (irritating in high levels), yet hardly any omega-3s (particularly beneficial for the heart). Although the optimum ratio is 4 to 1, ours is often 20 to 1, which puts us at increased risk for cardiovascular disease, arthritis, asthma, and some cancers.

Solution:

To right the omega balance: Eat more fish, seafood, whole grains, beans, nuts, and ground flaxseeds to increase omega-3s. And cut back on processed foods—along with oils made
from corn, safflower, cottonseed, and peanuts—to ease off the omega-6s.

5) Inflammation: 1

If you've ever seen an apple slice turn brown 20 minutes after being cut, you can picture what inflammation does to your body: It causes the rusting of tissue. You can gauge your level of inflammation with a blood test that measures C-reactive protein (CRP), which is produced by the liver and is part of the body's battle response. A healthy level is under 1—meaning you've got less than half the chance of heart disease than if your level is greater than 3. A number above 10 suggests you may have another ailment (such as an autoimmune disease) that should be diagnosed.

Solution:

To reduce CRP: Try to eliminate low-grade irritants like gingivitis (floss daily) and vaginitis
(see a doctor, especially if it recurs). Also move toward a Mediterranean-style diet (lots of fruits,
vegetables, and whole grains; fat from olive oil; moderate amounts of wine).

6) Vitamin D: 30

When you're deficient in vitamin D, you may be at increased risk for heart disease, cancer, multiple sclerosis, and immune disorders, not to mention osteoporosis. To make sure you're getting enough, take a blood test for vitamin D: Your level should be greater than 30.

Solution:

To boost vitamin D: If you can't get 15 minutes of sun exposure daily, take a supplement containing at least 1,000 IU of D3, the most potent form of the vitamin, or chug a
tablespoon of cod liver oil every morning.

7) Waist Size: 32.5

Ideally, your waist should measure less than half your height (do it at the belly button—go ahead and suck in). That means if you're 5'5", yours would be less than 32.5 inches. The reason: The omental fat beneath your stomach muscles causes inflammation, which drives many of your body's other critical numbers in the wrong direction.

Solution:

To lose inches at your waist: Focus on slicing off 100 calories a day. Since salad dressings sabotage many a good intention, one idea is to make this nutty recipe part of your routine:

1. Mix 1 tablespoon each of walnut (or hazelnut) oil, olive oil, and balsamic vinegar; add salt and pepper to taste.
2. Chop 1 small tomato, 1/4 cup diced onions, and 6 sliced mushrooms.
3. Pour the combo over 1 head of Boston lettuce.
Makes 2 servings, about 150 calories each.

8) Blood Sugar: 125

The other danger of omental fat is that it can block insulin's ability to work, which increases blood sugar and puts you at risk for diabetes. Your blood sugar should be less than 100
after an overnight or eight-hour fast and less than 125 if you aren't fasting.

Solution:

To lower blood sugar: Try chia seeds, which contain omega-3s and fiber (sprinkle them on yogurt or salads). It's believed that they form a gelatinous substance in the stomach that
helps slow the speed at which sugar is absorbed.

9) Bone Density: -1

It's a good idea for all postmenopausal women to get a bone density scan, especially those who are not on hormone replacement therapy, stand taller than 5'7", or weigh less than 125 pounds.
You should also be tested at around age 50 if your mother has had osteoporosis or either of you has had a hip fracture, if you take steroids, or if you drink excessively or smoke. The standard
DEXA (dual energy X-ray absorptiometry) scan provides a T score—your bone density compared with that of a healthy young woman: Above -1 is normal; between -1 and -2.5 indicates osteopenia, which may lead to osteoporosis; below -2.5 means you have osteoporosis.

Solution:

To strengthen your bones: Along with 1,000 IU of vitamin D, take 1,200 milligrams of calcium and 400 milligrams of magnesium (to prevent the constipation that calcium can
cause)—half in the morning, half in the evening. Also, start a program of resistance training (using gym equipment, dumbbells, or exercises like pushups and squats) for at least 30 minutes a week.

after the holidays

2009-01-06T12:26:00.002+08:00

it's time to face the harsh truth again. how much weight did you gain after the holidays?

me? i gained back 5 lbs. mostly around my tummy. my clothes still fit me well, it's just that my waistbands are just a little snug. i'm not alarmed though, i expected to gain a bit. (after all the panettone, wine, cakes, and chocolates i ate, who wouldn't?)

i went back to phase one last saturday, and i'm slowly losing the weight again. my new walking regimen is giving me a good workout -- i get so tired after picking up vito from school! and that's a good thing in my book.

how about you?

take heart

2009-01-06T12:20:00.004+08:00

when you feel that your ship is sinking,

take heart

if you live within the circle of God's will,

then you will always have God's protection.

you have nothing to fear

your ship might indeed sink,

but you will not drown

- from last sunday's sermon.

there are times when i feel so thankful i went to church

---------------------

i marvel at how the bible continues to be relevant

close but no cigar

2008-12-22T14:45:00.003+08:00

christmas is just a couple of days away, and soon december will come to a close. have i achieved my weight loss goal? not quite. i'm still 10 lbs away.

i know i can loose those 10 lbs with just one week on phase one, but i'm not going to do it. it's enough to know that i can. i would rather enjoy the fesitivites. there are so many reasons to be sad this christmas, so i'll focus on the ones that make me happy -- having my little family together, celebrating the birth of our Savior, and enjoying great food.

i will continue on my journey towards a healthier, fabulous me. i resolve not to overeat, no matter how tempting (fruitcake with brandy creme sauce, panettone french toast, baked ham, tiramisu, chocolate florentines, and everything else i'm preparing for noche buena). i'm just moving my target date, that's all. and i will aim to loose not just the 10 lbs i promised myself for december, but 20 more pounds so i can really go back to my 2003 weight. but i will do it slowly, steadily, safely. i will give my skin time to adjust so i won't end up looking like those extreme makeover candidates with rolls of skin on their bellies and arms. (no way!)

so the journey is not over yet.

almost there

2008-12-08T11:54:00.000+08:00

salads

2008-12-03T12:38:00.002+08:00

if someone had told me last year that i'd soon be craving for salads, i would have laughed so hard. i used to hate salads! given a choice between pizza or a salad, i'd have chosen the pizza any time. no hesitation.

now? now i crave salad every day! i've come to love the crunch of the vegetables, the freshness of the flavors, and how clean the feeling is inside my tummy. i love how i never feel bloated afterwards, and i love the mix of textures and tastes. every few days i try a new combination, and so far they've all been great.

the one in the picture is my chicken fajita salad. instead of wrapping them in tortillas, i shredded the roasted chicken, mixed it with the roasted veggies, added cherry tomatoes and romaine lettuce, and mixed them all with a special dressing (sour cream, parmesan cheese, garlic, cayenne pepper, lemon juice, olive oil). it's so good!

dirty little secret

2008-12-02T15:35:00.002+08:00

i think i'm becoming bulimic

surviving the holidays

2008-11-30T11:33:00.004+08:00

the holidays are upon us, and for people on a diet, that can be bad news indeed. but here are some things i learned (after surviving thanksgiving):

you don't have to completely deprive yourself of all holiday food. you'll just feel bad.
but it doesn't mean you can stuff your face with all the rich calorie-laden food you can get your hands on either. it's ok to get a slice of pecan pie, but it is not ok to eat the whole pie.
get a small portion of everything you want to eat. but don't go back for seconds.
eat some salad before you eat anything else. that way you'll feel slightly full before you face the lasagne, baked stuffing, ham, fondue, cakes, etc.
stay away from alcohol, it only adds unnecessary calories, and it won't fill you up. it'll also make your metabolism sluggish.
if you can, stick with water. avoid juice and any drink high in sugar.
if you're preparing the food, try to cook healthier versions of your favorite holiday food. you can use artificial sweeteners instead of sugar, use butter substitutes and healthier oils, substitute wholemeal bread for white bread, wholewheat pasta instead of semolina. sadly, there is no healthy version of gravy.

if all else fails, don't beat yourself up over a night of indulgence. just get back on track the next day. double your exercise routine if it makes you feel less guilty. =)

another size smaller

2008-11-23T00:03:00.003+08:00

i went down another dress size this week.

this is how i check - every saturday, when we go out, i go to stores and try on different dresses. i may or may not buy them, but i try them on, checking to see if i can fit into a smaller size. it's fun! i love trying out clothes, and i sometimes take pictures of outfits i love. these are the ones i'll buy when i reach my goal weight. (i'm still holding out for that day.)

i don't trust the scale much anymore. it goes up and down at different times of the day. i've started measuring my waist and hips instead. as long as the numbers keep going down, i'm happy.

the top i'm wearing in this picture is an old one. i've had it since manuel and i were dating. although it wasn't this "filled out" when i last wore it, i'm still happy that i can wear it once more. =D