i want to start feeling happy about this pregnancy. i really do. but my mental state right now leaves much to be desired. i'm always depressed, and the queasiness that just won't go away threatens to overwhelm any positive emotion i'm feeling. i have a short fuse nowadays, i snap at everything and everyone. poor manuel! i didn't know my husband has it in him to be patient with me after all.
the other moms at vito's school all noticed that he lost a lot of weight. it's my fault. the past weeks have been so horrible that he often went to bed at 6pm without any dinner. because i didn't have the patience to make him take a nap in the afternoon. more often than not he falls asleep in front of the tv. i'm such a bad mommy. mea culpa. mea culpa. mea maxima culpa.
i'm trying to do better, i really am. and i do try my best to ignore the way i'm feeling but how can i do it when i seem to be hugging the bowl more and more frequently? for those of you who have never been pregnant, just imagine your worst seasickness experience and imagine it coming in waves every few minutes of every single day! that's how it feels. now couple that with extreme hunger pangs. nauseous and hungry at the same time? yep, that's the first trimester for you. it's definitely not a happy feeling.
this is so not me you know. i'm a very positive person. i know i am. pollyanna has nothing on me. i'm normally all sunshine and laughter and i'd be the first to tell you to focus on the positive and change whatever you don't like and move on. kinda hard to do in this case.
not fabulous
Thursday, July 2, 2009
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10 comments:
*hugs* i wish things will get better soon!!! i know this isn't you... wish we're neighbors so we can stroll the park together or i can take the boys out so you can rest.
thanks t. i wish that too! i actually feel better when i have someone to talk to. =)
*hugs* patricia, i wish i have a magc wand right now to take awya the physical malaise you are feeling...lets just pray that the second trimester will come quicker and hurriedly...*hugs*
i'm normally all sunshine and laughter and i'd be the first to tell you to focus on the positive and change whatever you don't like and move on.
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I remember the first time we met at Abaseria, I said something like you being so positive.. when you laugh, LAUGH gyud ka..
It's understandable..this too shall pass. promise.
chelo - sus, you don't know how much i wish the same thing too! i can't wait for this trimester to be over. just a few more weeks to go.
mai - thanks for the reminder, i needed that. i hope i'll be feeling a lot better when i get to cebu. but i'm sure i'll be so distracted by all the fun that i won't notice the queasiness too much. =)
pat, i felt the exact same way when i had andi. i was too fragile and tired on my first trimester that my work, ppip and raf suffered. i was so lazy and sensitive and just plain sick of being sick. hang on there. i hope it gets better really, really soon. HUGS!
i wish you get over this trimester soonest. *hugs*
kaith - thanks for commiserating with me! i'm glad to know more people out there understand what i'm going through. i hope this means i'm having a girl too. heheheh =)
chi - thanks kaayo. i really hope so too!
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